Milestones and Altars

I've been thinking alot about this past year.  I'd have to say, 2011 was one of the worst years of my life, but it was also the greatest year of my life.  I've never seen the hand of God at work so much in my life personally.  It's always cool to watch Him doing stuff in other peoples lives, but when He brings it to you personally, it will just shake you to the core.

My year started out on a 21 day fast.  It was incredible.  I learned the value of disconnecting from the world and connecting myself to God through prayer and fasting.  It was one of the most intense and spiritually defining times of my life.  It became one of those altars in my life that I'll always go back to and remember meeting with God at this place and time in my life.

The rest of my year was no different.  If I had to give this year a name, it would most definitely be "Milestones and Altars", just as the blog title says.  I say that, because my whole entire year was filled with one of these.  The fast was both.  I had never done a 21 day fast before, so it was a milestone.  But I had also never met with God like that either, and therefore it became an altar, and it was truly a meeting place with Him.

During our Kingdom Advancement Conference at our church I had an altar moment when I wholeheartedly put my "yes" on the table with God.  Whatever, whenever, whomever, however, I say Yes.  I want all that He has for me and I want to walk every path He has laid out for me, no matter where the journey's lead me.  I want to spend my life pursuing Him.  Afterall, is a life that is not spent wholeheartedly pursuing Him really a life at all?  I want to waste my life knowing Him in everything.  All the depths and riches of Him, I want to spend my life searching them out.  I say Yes.

Reading "Radical" changed my life this year.   I realized that Christianity was meant to be much more than what we think. It was meant to be lived radically. Yeah, you can live your life as a Christ follower and play it safe. You can stay in the boat when something, Someone, calls you to come out of the boat in the most extreme of circumstances. You can live your Christian life following all the do's and don'ts that you've been taught all your life. You can settle for ordinary and nothing out of the box. You can sit back and watch others be "extreme" or "free spirited" in their faith and think "that's just not me". But can I tell you something? You're missing out. Jesus didn't endure a cross for you to live casually. He didn't give up His life through a cruel means of torture for you to hold on to yours. He didn't live His life as an example for you to think it was just good teachings. On the contrary, He did everything He did so we would have an example to follow, a compass for how to navigate life....His way. And that's what Radical did for me. It caused me to examine my walk, in great detail, to see just how committed I was....in every area. It fueled the desire in my heart to go on a missions trip. It ignited a holy fire within me.  It brought on another altar with God.  Another place of meeting.

I completed my first ever prayer journal this year.  I have always started one and would eventually jump on the spiritual roller coaster that we fall prey to sometimes, and I would never finish it. I had mounds of unfinished prayer journals.  I'd always just start a new one when I got back on track.  Except for this year.  I started it and finished it.  MAJOR milestone, but also a sweet  altar.

In August I was blessed to go on my first ever missions trip. We went to Zimbabwe, Africa, and I have to say, I fell in love. My heart was changed by what I saw there. My life was put into perspective. I came to a personal realization that "For God so loved the WORLD that He gave His own Son..." I saw Jesus in the faces of beautiful little African children who had absolutely nothing. I saw people who lived in conditions I could never dream of carry a smile on their face simply because they had Jesus, and they knew He was all they needed. I took God out of my box in Africa, for it was here that I come to understand He truly doesn't fit inside of my neat little box. He's much bigger than I ever give Him credit for. And the way He operates is so outside of my understanding. Trying to keep God in a box is kinda like keeping a male lion in popcorn bucket. He won't fit. He wasn't made to. And God wasn't made for the little boxes we create and put Him in either. He is the Potter, WE are the clay. If anyone was going to be in a box it would be us, but thankfully He doesn't work that way either.  Yep, another altar for me.

Septemeber held quite the milestone.  I turned the big 40 this year.  Yes, big milestone.  In October we sold our house and moved to a quaint little 3 bedroom apartment while we build.  Milestone.

November would have to be the month I say that holds the greatest altar of all though.  It was November 9, 2011,  that I personally met Jehovah Raphi, the God Who heals.  That story is detailed a little more in a previous blog post, but I'll just say this....I still go back to that day alot.  I remember specific moments in great detail.  I can almost smell certain things from the day.  I relive that day alot in my mind.  Sometimes something will happen that will trigger a memory from the day and it never fails to make me sit back and just stop and reflect on the fact that I saw God do an actual miracle.  And it wasn't for someone else.  It wasn't for someone I didn't know.  It was for me.  ME.  I met Jehovah Raphi that day and I made an altar in that place so that I never forget the power, and grace, and mercy, and completely unfailing love of my God that was shown to me. 

The first of December I had major surgery.  A total hysterectomy to be exact.  It has been life altering as well in a different way! It was a kind of milestone, I guess, but it is becoming another altar along the way.  That's for a blog post later :-)

Today is the last day of 2011.  For the first time in my life, I have completed reading through the entire bible this year.  And I can't wait to start all over again tomorrow.  This has also been both a milestone and an altar.  Through reading through God's Word, I have come to know Him like I haven't before.  I've learned things about Him.  I've discovered His ways are not like mine.  I've discovered that He was....He is....He will be.  I discovered I Am.


Here's what I'm taking into 2012: I didn't do everything right last year.  I won't do everything right next year.  What I have to focus on is simple really...obedience.  I need to focus on being in obedient in the small things He places before me.  I want ears to hear, eyes to see, a heart that is always open to His leading, and lips that speak His truth with conviction.  I'm so thankful that He is a Father Who makes all things new.  He cleanses our past and gives us a new future.  No matter what we did in the past, nothing is so big or horrible that His grace, mercy and forgiveness cannot cleanse and make new.  He washes, He restores, and He gives us a future.

I'm so grateful for 2011.  I am expectant for 2012.  And not just expectant, I'm packing my bags and setting sail to embark on the discovery of a lifetime.  This year I am going after His heart....the deepest parts of His heart. I want to know HIM.  Every part of Him that I can find and that He will reveal. 

Thanks for journeying with me in 2011.  Lets all set sail together in 2012.  Happy New Year!

Stacy

What is Worship?

With Thanksgiving fast approaching this week, it seems an attitude of thankfulness is all around.  I've seen so many posts on facebook since the start of November, all declaring some they are thankful for on each day of the month.  I love it! 

I have lots to be thankful for in my own life.  It goes without saying, I am very thankful for my family...for my boys...my amazing husband.  I'm thankful for my job  I'm thankful for my friends.  Not just my friends....I'm thankful for my God fearing, Jesus loving, power praying friends in my life.  I'm thankful for a beautiful and amazing church family.  I'm thankful for freedom.  I'm thankful for the little things in life too/  You know, things like....cool breezes on a hot summer day....breathtaking fall colors as the seasons change...drenching spring rains that cause dead and dried up things to live again...a baby's giggle....a chids smile.  And lets not forget the things like.....warm, gooey brownies and a cold glass of milk....reese cups of any kind...and chocolate.  Yes, I'm really thankful for chocolate.

While all of these things are great and good, I'm thankful for other things that go above and beyond all of this.  I'm thankful that circumstances of my life allow me to experience God in different ways.  I'm thankful that God loves me enough to give me the opportunity to find Him in the most unexpected places.  I'm thankful that I've come to know God in new ways recently, like Healer, Defender, and Daddy.  I'm thankful that even when I'm most unlovable in myself, He still loves me just the same.  I'm thankful that He is unchanging.  I'm thankful that He is never ending.  I'm thankful that He operates in redemption.  I'm thankful that He gives me more grace than I deserve.  I'm thankful that His mercies are new every morning.  I'm thankful He pursued me and drew me to Himself, and in my search for Him, He adopted me and brought me into His eternal family.  I'm thankful for Jesus and the sacrifice He made on my behalf.

Max Lucado says, "worship is the THANK YOU that cannot be silenced."  Do you know what I have just done by declaring my thankful heart?  I've just experienced worship.  Do you know why?  Because anytime I start reflecting on Who God is, or What He's done for me, it inspires worship within my heart.  I begin to become full of praises because of how good He has been to me.  I enter into a private moment with Him, where my heart is consumed with passion for Him....where my gaze is completely occupied with His gaze.  When I begin to thank Him, I begin to worship.  And as I worship, my heart is changed.

I wonder, what would our lives look like if we walked in a state of thankfulness?  What if we walked in a place of "I don't care what my circumstances are or situation I find myself in, I will thank my God continually" way of life?   1 Thessalonians 5:18 tells us to "be thankful in ALL circumstances."  That doesn't mean we thank God only when life is good.  No, quite the contrary.  It means we thank Him even when we are in battle.  It means we thank Him even when life is hard. It means we thank Him even when our circumstances don't give us a reason to be thankful.  It means we thank Him in ALL things.  Remember, thanking Him becomes worship, and when we worship our perspective changes.  And when our perspective changes, we walk in freedom.  Freedom from being bound by things of this world, whether they be emotions or material.  Our gaze is redirected to His gaze through our worship and we begin to lay aside every weight and anything that trips us up or hinders us from walking along the paths of righteousness with Him. 

And to think, it all starts with a thankful heart.  So,as Thanksgiving approaches, find some time to just sit with Him.  And as you are there, begin to meditate and speak out all that you are thankful for from Father.  Remember His goodness.  Remember His faithfulness.  And allow your grateful heart to turn into a moment of worship. Then develop a thankful heart within you and allow it turn your life into a life that sweetly becomes one who lives life on your knees in a state of worship.  A life found competely and totally immersed, and hidden in Him.

Let's live thankfully...
Stacy

The Sound of His Great Name...

"The whole earth is filled with awe at Your wonders; where morning dawns, where evening fades, You inspire songs of praise."
Psalm 65:8

If you would've asked me a few months ago if I believed that Jesus heals, I would've said yes.  With complete assurance in my heart, it would've been yes.  Not because I've had it happen to me personally, but because His word assures me it is possible.  So I would've said yes based on that fact alone.  Now, fast forward to today.  If you ask me that same question, I will wholeheartedly declare a resounding YES, because not only does His word assure me of it, but I have now seen His word in action in my life personally.  I have been a recipient of His touch.  And let me just tell you, its one thing to know it based off of reading His word and hearing stories from other people.  It's a completely different thing to know it based off a personal experience of it.  And THAT my friends, is the inspiration for this blog tonight.

For the past several weeks I have been battling an extremely intense illness.  To make a long story short, I'll just give you the cliff notes.  I was sent to UAB in Birmingham this past Wednesday for what was thought to be a hepatic liver abscess.  Doctors found a lesion on my liver that instigated several imaging scans and with my symptoms continuing to worsen by the day, they felt a transfer to UAB where people experienced in infectious disease could do a biopsy and treat me would be the best possible solution.  No one in our area was experienced with it, and so off we went.

When we left that day, I have to admit, I was scared.  We were faced with the uncertainty of what was going on, with an uncertainty of what was going to happen.  My eyes were clouded by the fog of my current circumstances.  I knew God was with me, but still my heart began to fear.  However, I belong to a faithful God, and He knew what my heart needed, exactly when it needed it.  And so after getting the news that I was being transferred and admitted to UAB, I began sending out messages to everyone I knew.  My church met with us and prayed over me before we left.  Everyone I know began praying and calling on other people to pray.  Word spread quickly and before I knew it, I was surrounded by an army of believers, locked arm in arm, crying out to God on my behalf. 

I don't know about you, but I've never walked through anything like this that required such faith and prayer.  Up until this point in my life, I had never battled serious physical illness, so I really didn't know how to walk in this.  But as people began to pray, things began to change.  My heart was encouraged and strengthened.  And before we left for Birmingham, my husband and I both agreed, we weren't going to Birmingham for my healing, we were going to bring glory to God.  We were going to make much of Jesus through this.  If I was healed in the process, great.  If I wasn't, that was ok too.  We knew God was in this and we trusted Him to lead us through.  And He didn't leave my side the entire time.

There were moments as I lay in the hospital bed that as I closed my eyes, I could sense Him standing at the foot of my bed, just smiling over me.  Like any good dad would do for his kid.  Here stood my Dad, standing at the foot of my bed, smiling over me, giving me the constant assurance that He would never leave my side.  And He never did.  His presence filled my room every moment I was there.  My phone would constantly be going off with texts and messages coming through of people telling me there were praying and just encouraging me in my faith.  When I say it was an army, I'm not kidding.  I saw the army suit up and go to war on my behalf.  THAT is humbling. 

A few days prior to this, I saw a movie about war.  It was about Sparta and a group of soldiers who were defening Sparta.  They were fierce soldiers, who marched into battle with no fear, but always arm to arm in battle.  It was no coincidence I saw this movie when I did.  Because little did I know I was about to experience an army of believers suit up on my behalf and push back the enemy who was coming against me.  And that is exactly what happened.  People I knew, people I didn't know, all on their knees, crying out to God, swords drawn, shields raised, running onto the battlefield for ME.  I'm still in complete amazement by it.

Well, I'm happy to say, it was a battle well fought.  I was admitted on Wednesday and Thursday late afternoon my doctors came into the hospital room and told me this..."you came in with all the signs and symptoms of a hepatic liver abscess.  Yet now your blood work shows nothing abnormal.  Our radiologists have looked at all your scans and imaging, and they believe this spot on your liver to be just a benign hemangioma. Your liver is normal and healthy."  And shortly after I was released from the hospital.

In the course of my stay I began to continuously improve.  The doctors had done nothing.  I had recieved no medicines.  Nothing.  And yet I was improving.  The pain was subsiding, I was coming back to life.  My symptoms began disappearing.  Thursday morning a friend of mine had sent me a post on facebook that said this...
   "From my devotion this morning..."He generally waits to send His help until the time of our       greatest need, so that His hand will be plainly seen in our deliverance. He chooses this method so we will not trust anything that we may see or feel, as we are so prone to do, but will place our trust solely on His Word." 

The doctors had even come into my room and told me they weren't doing anything for me.  Boy were they right! haha  THEY weren't doing anything. It was completely the hand of my God at work, in response to the prayers being offered on my behalf.  My army that had suited up to go into battle for me, they were pushing back the enemy with the power of God at work through them.

This was a place I had never been.  I've had to trust God before on things, but never like this.  I knew He would be with me.  I just wanted to glorify Him through it however I could.  And I wanted the whole thing to make much of His Name regardless of the outcome.  And assuredly, it has indeed. 

Wednesday morning I wasn't sure what would happen with me I was so sick.  I had lost about 8 pounds in less than a week.  I was sick.  Really sick. And yet by Thursday night I was on my way home because God had touched my life and made me whole. 

My faith was tested for sure.  I had to step out when I didn't see anything to step onto and just trust His hand to guide me through this.  I found alot of things during this dark moment.  Several treasures found hidden in these darkest moments that I would not otherwise have found.  Kinda like Peter.  You have to step out of the boat and into the stormy waves to learn that you can, in fact, walk on the waves of adversity when you fix your eyes on the One Who can stands in the midst of the chaos and summons you to come and experience Him like never before.  But as long as you stay in the boat, you'll never learn that miracles await those who walk by faith.  Is it scary?  Yes, when you only look around and see the chaos and stormy waves on all sides.  But, when we step out, and our gaze become fixated on Him, the waves of adversity disappear, you don't care where you're next step will be because you're walking on the certainty of the One Who has reached for you.  You walk with the assurance that He will be the ground beneath your feet.

I also found healing through this dark moment.  It is indeed a treasure.  I would  not know healing if I didn't walk through a time of needing to be healed.  I would not know Jesus as my Healer any other way.  But now, I can sing with a confident assurance, "I believe You're my healer, I believe You are all I need..."  Before all of this, I sang that song based on a head knowledge really.  I believed that He healed.  But now?  Now I will sing that song with it permanently etched into my heart because now I KNOW Him as a Healer.  And I'd go through months of being sick to find it out all over again.

The bottom line in all of this craziness?  It's ALL worth it friends.  Every trial we go through.  Every dark night we encounter.  They're all worth it when we find Him in the midst of it.  Dark times can be scary, but you can always rest assured of one certain thing....morning WILL come.  The sun WILL rise.  ALWAYS.

Before I finish this post, let me say thank you to all of you who stood with me and prayed on my behalf. I'll never have the words to adequately say thanks. But my life has been changed by the love and encouragement I have recieved from so many people. It is humbling. It is absolutley amazing. And I love each one of you for it. And rest assured, I am asking my Father to return to each of you that prayed, the same blessing that was bestowed upon me in that hospital room.

I posted a Psalm 65:8 at the beginning of this blog post.  It just so happens that my room number in the hospital was 658.  So I looked it up in the bible and found this verse.  It was quite appropriate.  So appropriate, in fact, that I'll write it here again for you....
  
"The whole earth is filled with awe at Your wonders; where morning dawns, where evening fades, You inspire songs of praise."
Psalm 65:8

He is a mighty God.  He is a Healer.  His name is Jesus.  He has the power to do the impossible my friend.  Throughout this journey, He has indeed inspired many songs of praise.  His hand has moved on my behalf, and because of it, I have a facebook page that is lit up with nothing but songs of praise to my Jesus.  Post after post after post, all declaring the greatness of my God.  So yeah, this whole sickness...was it worth it?  Absolutely.  Because my God was glorified through it and at the end of the day, His great Name has inpsired many, many songs of praise. 

I'll close with a few of the lyrics to one of my favorite songs, which, by the way, now holds even greater meaning for my life.  It's "Your Great Name" by Natalie Grant.  May these words take root in your soul and may you find all the treasures your heart needs found in the dark times of your soul as well. 
      All the weak; find their strength; at the sound of Your great name
     Hungry souls; receive grace; at the sound of Your great name
    The fatherless; they find their rest; at the sound of Your great name
    Sick are healed; and the dead are raised; at the sound of Your great name
    Jesus, Worthy is the Lamb that was slain for us, Son of God and Man
    You are high and lifted up; and all the world will praise Your great name
    Redeemer, My Healer, Lord Almighty
   My savior, Defender, You are My King

I love you all from the bottom of my heart,
Stacy

Hidden Treasures

"We are pressed on every side by troubles, but we are not crushed. We are perplexed, but not driven to despair.  We are hunted down, but never abandoned by God. We get knocked down, but we are not destroyed.  Through suffering, our bodies continue to share in the death of Jesus so that the life of Jesus may also be seen in our bodies."  2 Corinthians 4:8-10

So it's after midnight.  I should really be sleeping.  My body tells me to.  But my mind just isn't having it tonight.  So I get up and Father leads me to actually a different verse in 2 Corinthians 4 than the first verse I just posted...verses16-18....
"That is why we never give up. Though our bodies are dying, our spirits are being renewed every day. For our present troubles are small and won’t last very long. Yet they produce for us a glory that vastly outweighs them and will last forever! So we don’t look at the troubles we can see now; rather, we fix our gaze on things that cannot be seen. For the things we see now will soon be gone, but the things we cannot see will last forever." 

You know, I don't know about you, but I kinda like the whole "mountain top" spiritual times.  The times when we are winning battle after battle.  When Dad is speaking constantly and we are learning, growing, being changed from the inside out.  When we see Him moving in our lives, through our lives.  I really, really like those times in my life.  Alot.  It's those crazy valleys that just get me everytime.

You know the valleys, those times when all hell seems to break lose against you.  When the enemy of your soul unleashes an all out attack on everything about you...your health, your strength, your witness, your life, your heart, your everything.  When he is on a mission to destroy you.  Period.  THOSE kind of valleys.

So I start reading all of this about not giving up.  About how what we are going through now is temporary.  Did you catch that?  TEMPORARY.  That means, according to Websters, "lasting for a LIMITED time."    Limited means "confined with limits; restricted."  Are you getting this?  It means, what we are going through now is not ALWAYS.  It's temporary.  It's like a limited edition...only here for a short period of time.  Now, I know, short period of time can seem like forever when you're in the midst of it.  But in the scope of eternity, it's short.  Trust me on this.

I love how those verses just ooze hope within them.  I love how we find things "unseen" in our valleys.  In our darkest moments really.  It's what I like to call hidden treasures.  Those things that we can only find in the dark times of our lives.  It's in the darkest times of our lives that we find out what faith in Him truly is.  It's in dark times that we find out how good He is, even when life doesn't always agree.  It's in dark times that we learn the value of pressing through, seeking His face and finding His heart.  For THAT, my friend, is the greatest treasure of all.  When we find His heart through the dark valleys, we have found our pearl of great price.  And sometimes those great pearls come at the expense of our comforts.  They come when we are the weakest.  But they DO come...when we are seeking Him through it.

Verses 8-10 give me even greater hope.  Battles may get intense.  They always do.  There's always blood shed in war.  There are casualties.  There are injuries and wounds inflicted from enemy fire.  There are times when the soldiers grow weak and tired and weary.  There are times when daylight never shines because the enemy fire is intense and keeps the sun hidden by all the artillery being unleashed, by all the smoke from the fire.  BUT, here's where we find hope....we may be pressed in on every side by enemy fire...but we aren't crushed.  We may be filled with uncertainty and facing difficulties in our lives by what we are going through, but it does not have to drive us to despair.  We may be hunted down day and night by our enemy...but we are NEVER abandoned by our great and mighty Warrior...Father God.   We may get knocked down...ALOT...but it does not destroy us.  We get back up.  Why?  Because greater is He Who lives in us, than our enemy who lives in the world.

Bottom line...HE is stronger.  He is able.  And He fights for us.  He is our great Defender. 

I write all of this tonight with a heart that is screaming...."fill me with THIS hope in the midst of battle".  To stand on the battleground and lean on, rely on the fact that never once will He ever leave us in the battle.  He gives us the weapons to use to fight our enemy, and then He gives us the strength and wisdom to fight according to His ways, not ours.  Oh, and one more thing...He will Always come through.

I'll leave you with this thought tonight.  It's an old song that my heart is singing as I write this....

   "Turn your eyes upon Jesus,
     Look full in His wonderful face;
     And the things of earth will grow strangely dim
     In the light of His glory and grace."

Search for your hidden treasures friend.  They are treasures waiting to be found that are hidden in Him.  And to find them, you must seek Him to find HIM. 

Happy hunting....
~Stacy

Relentless...

Websters defines Relentless as "that does not relent; unyieldingly severe, strict, or harsh; unrelenting: "  It means to be "rigid, unbending, obdurate, adamant, unyielding." 


My heart is on a road I've never really been down before like this.  I mean, I've loved Jesus and purused Him, but I've just seen something in Him in the last few months that has altered me.  Altered my perceptions of life.  Altered my perceptions of being a Christ follower.  Altered my perceptions of the battle we are involved in.  Altered my perceptions of HIM.


The last several months have brought on much craziness in our lives.  From issues we are dealing with in our children, to this crazy, amazing trip across the world to Africa, to selling our house, to moving, to.....there is a long list of things I could keep naming.  Bottom line, in the midst of it all, there has been a battle going on.  It is a battle for my heart.  There are 2 battles really.  One is being waged by the enemy of my soul. He wants to destroy my heart.  He wants nothing less than to destroy me, to knock me down, to knock me out of the battle altogether.  His attacks are fierce at times.  But they haven't destroyed me yet, and by the grace of God they won't.  But he is relentless in his attempts to destroy what Christ has done in me.  To destroy the works that Christ is doing in me now.  And to steal and destroy my destiny in Christ. 


The other battle is one being waged by Father.  It's not even close to the same kind of battle, but it is a battle nonetheless.  It's a battle FOR my heart.  He WANTS my heart.  And not just part of it....He wants all of it.


I am learning through all of these different things, that in order for me to continue on the journey, I MUST be relentless in my pursuit of Him.  I must be rigid when it comes to how I live my life.  I must be adamant and unyielding to what I will and will not do.  To how I will determine to go after His heart with all that is within me.  I must be Relentless.  I want to be unyielding to the ways of the flesh in my life, to the ways of the world.  I want to be anything but status quo when it comes to how I pursue Him.


On the flip side of this, I am learning that His pursuit of me is the same...it is relentless.  He is jealous for me.  He doesn't want part of me. He doesn't want half of me.  He wants ALL of me.  And so out of that intense love He has for me, He pursues me...relentlessly.  In His pursuit He allows me to walk through different valleys, periods of darkness, periods of sorrow.  Why?  Because He knows that when I walk through those times, when I find Him in the midst of it, my heart is forever changed.  He knows that during those times, He becomes my all in all.  And so He pursues...relentlessly. 


You see, in His relentless pursuit of my heart, and by allowing me to walk through the valley, when I have tasted Him, when I have tasted His goodness in the darkest of times, He knows that it will turn my heart to pursue Him.  And the more I see His goodness in the darkness, the more relentless I will be  to pursue HIS heart.  See the connection?  Friend, there are some priceless treasures to be found in the darkness. (that's a whole nother blog right there!)


He pursues me, so that I will pursue Him.  He draws me so I will seek.  It is relentless.  And I want to be relentless in my devotion to Him.  He loves us, oh how He loves us......relentlessly.....

A trip to the other side of the world....

If you would've asked me a few years ago, "would you like to go to on a mission trip to Africa?" I would have happily answered NO WAY.  "I'm not called to missions",  I've always said.  So I never gave it much thought.  Sadly, anything that had to do with missions has never really interested me.  I thought it was great if someone went on a mission trip or moved across the world to be a full time missionary, but personally I never had any interest in doing anything even remotely close.  Until this year.

In January of this past year I made alot of decisions in my life.  One of those was to pursue Christ deeper than I ever have.  I wanted to dig deeper, to dive deeper, to live deeper than what I had known before.  I was tired of being normal as it pertained to me spiritually.  I wanted something more than what I had, more than what I had ever known.  And I went on a journey to pursue just that.  

And while I don't feel a call to sell all of my belongings and move halfway across the world, I have felt a call to do something else, which I believe is what Father calls each of us to do.  Say YES.  Put our yes on the table and let Him decide what that means, where that leads us.  We say yes before we even know the question.  And that's what I've done.  I've put my yes on the table and said whatever, whenever, whomever, however, whereever. 

I started reading the book Radical a few months ago.  It changed my life completely.  It turned the whole "yes" into something deeper.  And it challenged me to go deeper in so many ways.  While reading that book I felt such a strong calling to go on a mission trip.  I didn't know where, I just I wanted and needed to go.  And it was a strong desire in my heart.  Actually a very foreign desire because I'd never really wanted to do that before.  So as it all turns out, I found out about a trip my church was taking to Zimbabwe on a Friday, 2 weeks before they were scheduled to leave.  Turns out God had that trip in mind for me because 2 weeks later I had a passport, a plane ticket, and was on my way halfway across the world to step into something I'd never dreamed possible.

To say that this trip was life changing is an understatement.  I saw things I never knew.  I saw God in ways I had never had before.  I saw Him in a different people group as they worshipped Him in their tribal tongue.  I saw Him in glorious creation through wild animals and majestic waterfalls.  I saw Him in the eyes of children who had nothing, yet had everything.  HE was all they had.  And He was enough.  It was a humbling thing, needless to say.  Here in America, we have all we need.  Our faith doesn't cost us anything, really.  Maybe our pride at times.  But its not at a point where it costs us our lives. 

One thing that has stuck with me is desperation.  How desperate am I to see Him?  Not just see Him, but to see Him around me in ways I've never looked for before.  To see Him in the people I meet.  To see Him in His creation.  Just to SEE Him.  Theres a song that's near and dear to my heart, "The More I Seek You" by Kari Jobe.  That song came to life for me in Africa.  Because I went seeking Him, and I found Him in so many unexpected places.  And the more I found Him, the more I fell in love with Him.  It's hard not to fall completely head over heels in love with Him when you start seeing Him, seeing Who He is.  Who He REALLY is.

There's so much I could say about Africa.  It's hard to put into words sometimes how amazing that trip was.  It has put a love in my heart for a people group I never even heard of until those 2 weeks in August of this year.  And now the people of Zimbabwe are forever etched into my heart, into my soul.  If you're my facebook friend you can view all of my albums from the trip.  If not, I'm attaching a few of my faves here.

I'll leave you with this, if you haven't put your yes on the table yet with God, do it.  Throw caution to the wind and let yourself jump into complete abandonment to Him in every way.  I promise you won't regret it.  

Always....

Well, it's been a while since my last post, but my heart is full tonight and I want to write.  I've been doing alot of thinking lately about our stories.  God really opened up my eyes last week to how everyday of my life and what I'm going through is just a page in the book of my life.  I never know what that page is going to say, what that chapter is going to be about, what the details that will be surrounding it.  Sometimes its good and fun and joyous.  Then other times it's challenging.  And painful.  But the best part of all...I know Who wrote the book.  I know the Author of my life.  And His endings are always redemptive.  They are always glorious and holy.  They are always beautiful in every way.  And He has an ending for my story.  He has an ending for this chapter of my life right now.  And though the pages from start and the pages in between may be filled with hard days, I know there is an end in sight that is beyond my mind to comprehend at how beautiful and redemptive it will be.  He will bring about His purposes. And His great Name will be glorified.

I guess thats why it makes it easy to serve Him, to love Him.  Because no matter what, He always has my best interest at heart.  He is always working the circumstances of my life to bring me to Him,  to draw me to His heart and to ultimately bring Him glory.  Is it always fun?  No.  Sometimes the journey is tough.  But when I keep my eyes fixed on Him, the waves don't seem so big.  The storm doesn't seem so strong.  There's something about looking at Him that makes everything around me seem so small and insignificant.  Do I always keep my eyes focused on Him during the storm?  No.  Sometimes I take them off and look around.  That's when is start to sink.  Like we all do, really.  I forget Who I am looking at.  But if we could just realize the power to His gaze...wow.  There is so much in His gaze.  Look into His eyes and you'll find courage.  You'll find strength.  You'll find love.  You'll find peace.  You'll find the I Am.  The Great I AM.

Theres a new song out by Tricia Brock.  It is beyond amazing.  It's called Always.  The chorus says,
"Oh my God, He will not delay, my Refuge and Strength always...I will not fear, His promise is true, my God will come through always...always."  That song has become my life.  I have kept it on repeat this last week.  It is a breath from Father Himself to my spirit.  He knows all that we go through.  He knows every struggle-big and small.  And He will not delay in coming to our side.  He will not delay to bring us strength, to be a refuge for us in times of trouble.  And He will ALWAYS come through.  ALWAYS.  What a comforting thought.

Sometimes things seem overwhelming.  We all encounter things that are bigger than us.  More than we can handle.  But that's when He steps in.  He shows Himself strong.  He shows Himself true in every way.  And He shows us that He is God, that He is good even when the circumstances are not.  He is still holy.  And more than that, He shows us that He is able.  Our God is able. 

He is the place our soul finds rest in the battle.  Sometimes when the battle is most intense, when we have been injured from fighting, when we are deeply wounded, He steps in.  He becomes that shelter.  He cleans us up, and fills us with strength to go another day.  To keep fighting.  I know in my life, the battles are raging.  Some days they are more intense than others, but one thing remains the same....He is my refuge and strength always. And He WILL come through.  Always.

So I want to encourage you.  If you are in the midst of a battle, if you are wounded, if you are just tired from it all, then do this...lift up your eyes, for your help comes from the Lord.  He will be your refuge and strength.  You can rely and stand on His promise.  He WILL come through.  ALWAYS.

A Running Leap...

So years ago when I was dealing with infertility, it took a toll on me spiritually.  I was so hurt and angry and sad and just down right depressed.  It was all I wanted in this world.  Just to have a baby.  But it just wasn't happening.  Through my journey, I ended up at a scary place in my walk in with Christ.  There came a point that I found myself at the edge of a very dangerous cliff.  This cliff was a place where I could jump and turn my back on Christ, or could I turn around and go back to what I knew to be truth about Him.  I have to be honest...I looked over the edge.  I thought seriously about jumping.  My heart had so many questions and was so hurt.  I had allowed the enemy of my soul to sneak in and whisper lies to my heart about the goodness of my Father.  And the sad thing...I was believing them.

So I stood on the edge of that cliff, pondering what it would mean to jump.  What I would really lose if I did.  What would really be the consequences.  And I looked down into a bottomless pit beneath me.  Pitch black, and bottomless.  But after looking for some time, I decided to turn around and begin the journey back.  The journey that took me back to Him, to His truth, to His embrace. 

When I began that journey back, I wasn't alone.  He came running to meet me.  Just like Father....to come running after us when He sees us on that journey back home to Him.  And through that He transformed my heart completely.

Well this leads me to the current time in my life.  I have been on a passionate pursuit of Him for some time now.  Since January I have put on my spiritual running shoes and started running after Him.  And it has just progressed to such a degree that the same high I used to get while doing a physical run, I now get when I am running with Him each day.  I am obsessed with Him.  With finding His heart. 

For the last few weeks my heart has really been stirred.  Stirred to a point that it is new territory for me spiritually.  I've never walked in such a way with my Father.  And now I find myself at another cliff in my life.  More like the grand canyon type of cliffs this time.  And what I see when I look out is the sky and a vast sea of opportunities in Him.  And this time, HE is calling me to jump.  Not just jump, but to take a running leap and fly with Him.  To soar on the wings of Him, to fly so high I can feel the wind in the trees, to see leaves dancing.  To take a running leap and not knowing where the wind of His Spirit will take me, but to just trust His ability to get me there.  And so I did it.  With no hesitation, I have taken off running as hard as I could, and I leaped off the edge of this cliff.  And let me tell you, I'm flying.

Where am I flying?  Well, apparently my Father has seen fit to carry me to a place I never dreamed.  I'm leaving for Africa in less than two weeks.  I have no idea what to expect.  I only want to go into this trip with the expectation that He has brought me to this place for His kingdom purposes.  It is certainly not of my doing.  It's all Him. 

So, I'm cutting loose every tie I have with the things of this world.  I'm leaving them all behind.  Anything that weighs me down or keeps me from leaping off the edge, I am counting as loss.  I count everything as loss compared to the awesome priviledge of knowing Him, of flying with Him.  I want to soar.  I want to experience everything He has destined for my life.  I want to be radical in how I live my life for Him.  What others may think is crazy or insane or a waste, I want to give to Him.  It's His anyway.  My life, your life, everything.  It all belongs to Abba.

Let's fly...
Stacy

A Holy Embrace....

I am a hugger.  I love to hug.  I don't like those little "pat" hugs either.  If we're going to hug, then let's hug.  I want to squeeze your head off your shoulders.  If I hug you, then when we're done hugging, you're going to know that I love you.  Period!  Hugs make me happy.  I am a touchy person for the most part and a hug to me just says "I love you" better than anything sometimes.

There's a big difference between a hug and an embrace though.  A hug is good, but an embrace, well it's full of many more emotions.  If we embrace, then we are sharing more than just a small hug.  We are sharing an intimate moment.  Understand?  I love the sweet embrace of my husband and kids.  We hug and it becomes an embrace out of our deep love for one another. LIke when I have been gone and haven't seen my kids for a few days, when we finally see each other we share a very sweet embrace.  It says "I love you, I have missed you and you are mine!"   I love a sweet embrace of a friend.  When a hug becomes an embrace out of sharing difficult battles together or just sharing Jesus with each other.  Recently I had been talking with a sweet girl all week via text because she was out of town.  We had shared some sweet, sweet moments together about what God was doing in her life.  And so we decided when she got back we would meet together and talk about all that happened that week.  When I pulled up to meet her, she came barrelling across the yard and we hugged for what seemed like an eternity.  That hug became a very sweet embrace.  An embrace that spoke much love.  Those kinds of embraces are what makes my heart skip beats.  But as great as those embraces and hugs are, I love the embrace of my Father even more.  There is no embrace on earth quite like the sweet embrace of my heavenly Father.  It's in an embrace with Father that we come to see the meaning to Abba Father in our lives.  It's through an embrace with Him that we come to "know" His radical love for each of us.

I've recently come to a very real realization of this in my life.  Through spending time with Him and pursuing Him, I have been swept away and into the arms of the greatest Love I've ever known.  I have crawled up into His lap and spent many, many moments there in His sweet embrace.  And THOSE moments with Father radically change our lives.  Those moments cause your heart to abandon all that it once held dear in order to pursue more passionate moments with Him. 

Through these embraces with our Father, we come to real heart of worship in our lives too.  I think of Mary when I think of worship.  Remember the story?  It's found in Mark 14....
³ Meanwhile, Jesus was in Bethany at the home of Simon, a man who had previously had leprosy. While he was eating,^[a] a woman came in with a beautiful alabaster jar of expensive perfume made from essence of nard. She broke open the jar and poured the perfume over his head.
 ⁴ Some of those at the table were indignant. “Why waste such expensive perfume?” they asked. ⁵ “It could have been sold for a year’s wages^[b] and the money given to the poor!” So they scolded her harshly.
 ⁶ But Jesus replied, “Leave her alone. Why criticize her for doing such a good thing to me? ⁷ You will always have the poor among you, and you can help them whenever you want to. But you will not always have me. ⁸ She has done what she could and has anointed my body for burial ahead of time. ⁹ I tell you the truth, wherever the Good News is preached throughout the world, this woman’s deed will be remembered and discussed.”

Mary's worship has echoed into eternity.  She gave all she had in her worship of Him.  It was extravagant.  And the fragrance of her worship still fills the earth today.  Think of every time you've heard this story.  It's a radical form of worship that still is talked about to this day. Mary radically cut away what the world thought was security and of great value.  She wanted to "waste" her life at the feet of Jesus.  Wow.  Just think about that statement!  She was radical in her worship and it was beautiful in the Father's eyes.  Her worship was a fragrant offering to Him.  I wonder, is that how our worship is?  Is our worship such that it creates a fragrant aroma when we pour it out?  You can't give God your life in heaven.  You can only do that here on earth.  He is worth giving up everything we hold dear to pour our lives out for in complete worship while we are here.  Worship when worship costs us something.  That's a worship that touches Father's heart. 

Mary found the treasure of His heart and she knew it was something worth losing everything for.  Have we found the treasure of His heart yet?  If so, are we willing to pour out everything we have in order to give our worship back to Him?  I don't know about you, but I want a holy embrace to define my life. What the world sees as a waste, I want to pour over His feet.  He IS someone worth giving up everything for.  And He is worth our fragrant offerings.

Radical changes....

So this week I started the book, Radical, by David Platt.  All I can say is WOW. This book will rock your world.  It has mine.  I've only read through chapter 3.  I could sit and read it all in one night, but there is so much meat there I want to digest it slowly.  And more importantly, I want what I read to actually "take" in me.  Meaning, I don't want to just read this book and walk away saying what a great book it was. I want to read this book and do something with it.  I want to be changed.  Totally and completely changed.

The first chapter of the book is entitled, "Someone Worth Losing Everything For - What Radical Abandonment to Jesus Really Means."  If that doesn't stop you in your tracks and make you take a hard look at your life, I don't know what will.  This whole chapter is full of hard truths.  I mean those truths that make you look at your own Christian walk and think "am I REALLY a Christ follower?" 

This chapter has focused on the church as a whole basically and how we have settled with conforming Jesus and His Word to fit "us", not the other way around.  Which is a crying shame.  We are comfortable with our faith because honestly, our faith has never been challenged.  Not like those in foreign countries who risk their very lives to come together and meet and worship Jesus.  They risk everything.  They don't have comfortable sanctuaries with air conditioning and cushioned pews.  They don't have a magnificent praise team.  No, what they have is a burning desire for Jesus that drives them to risk everything in order to follow Him...to pursue Him.  Could you and I honestly look at ourselves and say we'd do that?  Would we risk our families, our jobs, our very lives in order to come together with other believers to seek the heart of God?  I'd like to say I would, but when it all came down to it, would I?  Would you?

This has caused me to really look inside my heart.  To truly examine the level of my committment to Christ.  Have I abandoned everything for the sake of following Him?  Am I taking His Word literally or just arranging it to fit my life?  Am I living a comfortable christianity or am I willing to live radical in my pursuit of Christ?  Am I willing to forsake everything...my family, my job, my friends, my hobbies, my time, my money, my life... all for the sake of pursuing the power of the Cross in my life?  Phillipians 3:8 says, "Yes, everything else is worthless when compared with the infinite value of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord. For his sake I have discarded everything else, counting it all as garbage, so that I could gain Christ".  DO I consider my life worth nothing in order to find Him?

Jesus is calling us all to abandon our comforts and everything that is familiar to us and follow Him.  To pick up our cross daily and follow Him.  To abandon all the attachments that this world has on us, and to follow Him.  To consider our lives as nothing, and to follow Him.

I don't know about you, but I want to be a Christ follower who sees that Jesus is worth giving up everything I hold dear.  He is worth my total abandonment in every area of my life.  He is worth confronting the sin that resides in my heart so that I can have all the fullness of Him in my life.  He is worth it all.  And He IS Someone worth giving up everything for.

I believe our christian walk is about the journey.  It's about the journey of discovering Jesus everyday.  Everyday that we spend time with Him and in His Word, He reveals more of Himself to us and provides us with the opportunity to lay down our lives, to radically confront the sin in our hearts, and to pursue Him.  You see, the pursuit of Him is the fun part.    Jeremiah 29:14 promises us this, "You will seek Me and you will find Me when you seek with ALL of your heart."  Did you notice what it said?  It didn't say you'll find me when you seek me just a little....or with some of your heart...or with only the parts of your heart you feel comfortable enough to deal with and let go.  No, it says we will find Him when we seek for Him with ALL of our heart.  That is RADICAL seeking friends.  Holding nothing back.  Counting everything as loss for the sake of knowing Him.  We will find Him when we are seeking Him.  When we are radical in our abandonment of all we hold dear in this world...we will find Him.  And He is a treasure worth finding.

So, here we are.  We have the choice every day we wake up.  Will we be radical Christ followers or comfortable christians?  I say forget the comfortable....lets go for epic and change the world.

~Stacy

Your Great Name....Jesus

Have you heard this song by Natalie Grant?  Oh my, it is a humdinger.  But don't listen to it unless you can take a minute to stop and soak it in.  I'm going to post some of the lyrics to this song here, because they are just full of such power I want you to see them...

Lost are saved; find their way; at the sound of Your great name
All condemned; feel no shame, at the sound of Your great name
Every fear; has no place; at the sound of Your great name
The enemy; he has to leave; at the sound of Your great name
Jesus, Worthy is the Lamb that was slain for us, Son of God and Man
You are high and lifted up; and all the world will praise Your great name

All the weak; find their strength; at the sound of Your great name
Hungry souls; receive grace; at the sound of Your great name
The fatherless; they find their rest; at the sound of Your great name
Sick are healed; and the dead are raised; at the sound of Your great name

Jesus, Worthy is the Lamb that was slain for us, Son of God and Man
You are high and lifted up; and all the world will praise Your great name
There is so much truth wrapped up in these words.  As I write this blog tonight I have this song on replay on the ipod.  I can't get enough of it.

I guess I am coming to a new revelation of the true POWER in His name.  Phillipians 2:9-11 says it all,
 ⁹ Therefore, God elevated Him to the place of highest honor
      and gave Him the name above all other names,
 ¹⁰ that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow,
      in heaven and on earth and under the earth,
 ¹¹ and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord,
      to the glory of God the Father.


I have read that scripture a million times over the years.  Knew what it said, knew it was truth.  But tonight...well, tonight it has come alive. 

Now go back and read the words of that song again.  What is it in your life that needs to bow before the name of Jesus?  Do you struggle with fear?  It bows before the name of Jesus.  Anger?  It bows before the name of Jesus.  There is no struggle, no issue, nothing, that can stand against the mighty name of Jesus.  None of these things have to control us.  I don't know about  you, but that gives me great hope. 

The more I have thought about this, I have come to the realization of something in my own life.  How much time I have wasted and allowed the enemy to use against me because I have not taken my struggles, my weakness, my issues, and acknowledged that they are powerless against the name of Jesus.  How often do we walk around in defeated mode because we don't think we can really overcome something.  It seems to powerful.  It seems to have too great a hold on our lives.  I have news for you and me...there is nothing we deal with that has more power than the name and person of Jesus Christ.  We can find victory in every battle with His name.

There is great freedom in that for me--when we realize that we aren't fighting these battles alone.  If we are a Christ follower and He lives within us, then we have a power living within us that is greater than anything in this world we may face.  God has given us weapons to use in our battles against the enemy, but the greatest weapon that we as Christians have is one word...JESUS. 

That name makes people uncomfortable.  They can say "God", but not "Jesus".  Why?  Because something happens when we speak His name.  It stirs.  It creates.  It is power.  And to think it is used in such a vain way.  The most precious name in all the world.

I urge you to take a moment.  Get quiet and still. And just begin to say His name.  And as you say His name, remember the power in that name.  Remember every struggle you are facing.  And as you say that name above all names, allow His presence to meet you right where you are, in the midst of every battle, and remember that those enemies are nothing against the power of His great name.  If you don't know Him personally, call on His name as your salvation.  The lost find their way through His great name.

He is so many things.  Redeemer. Healer.  Defender.  Saviour.  King.    He is Jesus. 

~Stacy

My Desire....

As I write this blog today, I'm completely immersed in a sweet, sweet Presence of Almighty God.  Listening to a song by Jeremy Camp, called "My Desire", it has inspired me to write a bit today.

The last several weeks have been quite the dry spell for me spiritually.  It has been hard coming off of what seemed like an abundance of spiritual springs of water flowing through my life.  But, nonetheless, it has been a growing time for me.  God is teaching me lessons on waiting, on patience, on love, on life. 

It's never easy when He begins to open up certain pages of our hearts and show us what is hiding beneath things in our lives.  We have such a tendency to sweep those "little things" under rugs in our lives.  Things that don't seem like that big of a deal really.  You know, bad attitudes, little bouts of pride, comments that should have never been spoken, little resentment towards others who don't treat us like we think they should, unresolved moments of anger....you get the picture.  They seem small, at times in our eyes, so we just pick up a rug and sweep them under it thinking they are really no big deal.  Until one day He picks that rug up because it has gathered quite the pile of rubbish under it.  And then our eyes are opened to what's been happening all along.

Let's just admit it, it's just plain easier to NOT deal with things sometimes.  It's easier to push them aside, sweep them under a rug and go on about our day, pretending to forget that they are even there.  But, deep down we know they are.  And when He begins to reveal those things, we are faced with a choice.  Will we allow His Spirit to convict and change us, or do we push His conviction aside and thus allow our hearts to become hardened over time because we aren't willing to allow the Potter to form and mold His piece of clay?

This is where I am today.  Listening to one of my favorite songs by Chris Sligh, Empty Me, I began to really listen to the words of this song.  This is the chorus....
    "I know how I can stray
     And how fast my heart could change, so
     Empty me...Of the selfishness inside
     Every vain ambition
    And the poison of my pride
    ...And any foolish thing my heart holds to
    Lord empty me of ME, So I can be...
    Filled with You"
I sooooo need to be emptied of ME, so I can be filled with Him.  Busyness, fatigue, it all can take a toll on us spiritually.  We get tired and then we start to allow our time we would normally spend with Him and His Word to become shortened.  We do it just a little each day, until one day we realize our time with Him has not been much of a priority as it once was.  It becomes easier to let it slide.  And just weeks before it was what our hearts was most excited about when going to bed at night....longing to meet with Him as soon as we got up the next morning.  I wonder how His heart feels when He awaits to meet with us, only to find the seat across from Him empty...again.  I wonder how His heart breaks to know He had so much to show us that day, to pour into us, only to find that we were a no show....again.  And why?  Because we became filled with us.  It's time to be emptied.

I don't know about you, but today, my desire is to take the lid off, pour out all of me, so He can pour Himself back in.  All my vain ambitions, all my everything, pour it ALL out at His feet.  The selfishness that seems to consume me....the pride that overtakes me.....all of it.  I want to be a fragrant offering to my Jesus.  A fragrant offering that pours out all of me, to get more of Him.  I want the Master Potter to take His creating hands and shape and mold this piece of clay into what He desires my life to be.  THIS, is my desire.

~Stacy

7x70 times....

I'm sure you've read that verse in the bible before.  You know, the one that says, "Then Peter came to him and asked, “Lord, how often should I forgive someone who sins against me? Seven times?”  “No, not seven times,” Jesus replied, “but seventy times seven!"  Matthew 18:21-22

Well that verse has got me on a journey right now.  This year I decided to read through the whole bible.  So I am going through one of those bibles everyday.  It's great because it breaks down Old Testament, New Testament,  Psalms, and Proverbs for every day.  So after 365 days you will have read through the entire bible.  Anyway, to me it's like reading a novel everyday.  Especially the Old Testament.  Some books cause you to scratch your head in confusion, but there are others that tell stories that just blow me away. 

One constant theme I have been seeing is forgiveness and mercy.  Not from people, but from God.  From God towards the Israelites specifically.  Have you ever noticed HOW MANY times those people would turn their backs on God?  He would have mercy on them and rescue them, only to find them back in the same place again not much later.  I have been scratching my head at that because I would have totally just wiped them away and started over after about the 3rd time I had to come to their rescue again.  Good thing I'm not God I guess. :-D   It seems to be a constant theme though.  And every time I just sit back in awe of such a merciful God we serve.  He performed amazing miracles for them.  Amazing!!  I'd like to think that if God parted a sea in order for me to cross over to dry land that I'd be on the "never gonna turn my back on God list" forever!  He led these people out of captivity in Egypt and carried them, providing all they needed.  And after they died and the next generation came along, He still did the same thing.  He would rescue them from their enemies when they would come crying out to Him.  Important fact to learn here....our God is full of mercy and compassion for His children, no matter how many times they fail.

So back to 70x7....Jesus told Peter to forgive that many times because that's what God does.  He forgives when we come asking for forgiveness.  He doesn't ask us to do anything that He doesn't do Himself when you think about it.  And He tells us to forgive like that, because THAT's how He forgives.  But if you're like me, then forgiveness doesn't always come that easy to you.  I might get to 7, but after that my flesh is over and done with and the thought of 70 x 7 is as ludicrous as they come.  BUT, that's what God commands us to do.

Forgiveness is typically defined as the process of concluding resentment, indignation or anger as a result of a perceived offense, difference or mistake, or ceasing to demand punishment or restitution.  The Oxford English Dictionary defines forgiveness as 'to grant free pardon and to give up all claim on account of an offense or debt'.  I love that word...pardon.  Have you ever witnessed someone be granted a pardon from the State?  I have.  And let me tell you, it is one of the most amazing things I have ever experienced.  The slate is wiped clean for that person.  It is no longer on their record.  For all accounts and purposes, it is as if the event never happened.  THAT is forgiveness friends.

 

I have experienced forgiveness in my life on both sides.  I have been the one asking for forgiveness, and I have been the one granting forgiveness.  And neither side is always fun.  But it is necessary for us as Christians to live holy, consecrated lives.  Forgiveness must be readily available within our hearts at all times.  No matter how many times we are sinned against, we must forgive.

Colossians 3:13
Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.

Why?  Because we forgive as the Lord has forgiven us.  How many times have you repeated the same mistake or sin over and over and over again?  And how many times have you gone before God asking His forgiveness?  So why would we think that we could treat our fellow man any different if they ask for our forgiveness?

Oh friends, forgiveness is not an easy task.  It takes a will of laying down our rights and treating others as God has treated us.  And we cannot do it within ourselves.  We must rely on the strength and power of God at work within us.  But there's no doubt about it... we MUST forgive. 

If you have children, then you've probably heard the question from them on more than one occassion..."mom just give me one more chance!"  It's funny, because I used to resound a loud "NO" with that request.  But now, as soon as I am about to utter those words from my mouth I am reminded of the times I have gone before my heavenly Father asking for just "one more chance".  Like I said earlier...our God is full of compassion for His children.  That doesn' mean we won't have consequences for our actions, but it does mean that when we come to Him and ask for forgiveness, He forgives.  
1 John 1:9 says, "But if we confess our sins to Him, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all wickedness."   He will forgive.  And so must we.

Keep pressing,
Stacy

Good Friday....

You see alot of posts on facebook and everywhere today talking about Good Friday.  Some talk about how it was good because of what Jesus did for us on this day.  Others say it is good because of what comes after today.  And then there are still others who don't have a clue what today represents in the hearts of believers.

But I want to present today in another way.  We call it Good Friday.  It is the day we honor the sacrifice that Jesus made by sacrificing His life for ours so that we may have eternal life.  His sacrifice enables more than just that though.  His sacrifice provides us with everything we need to endure our life on this earth.  His sacrifice paid the way for it all.  But lets look at it even closer.  We can call today Good, because no matter what we endure in this life, HE remains GOOD through it all.

When times are the hardest in our lives, He is GOOD.  When our strength fails us, He is GOOD.  When our lives get interrupted by turmoil, crisis, or troubles, HE IS GOOD.  And He knows the pains of our hearts when we are called to endure times of pain and suffering.

Hebrews 4:15-16 tells us, "¹⁵ This High Priest of ours understands our weaknesses, for he faced all of the same testings we do, yet he did not sin. ¹⁶ So let us come boldly to the throne of our gracious God. There we will receive his mercy, and we will find grace to help us when we need it most."

Dear friends, I don't know what you are going through in your life today.  I have seen some troubles hit many people I love in the last few weeks and months.  I have watched parents say goodbye to their only child who was only with them for 3 short years.  They are in the pit of grief.  I have watched 2 young girls and their father say goodbye to their mom and wife who was taken from them suddenly in a car crash.  Their world has been turned upside down.  I have watched a family say goodbye to their daughter, sister, and wife who fought a long hard battle with cancer.  Their hearts are saddened.  And yet I have watched a little girl who came to the brink of death just a few short months ago and God has raised her up and doing some amazing things through her and her family.  Yet during this whole experience, her parents are learning to see one truth that can only sustain....HE IS GOOD, EVEN WHEN TIMES ARE NOT.  That alone is the only hope we can rest assured of when our lives are falling apart.  And let me tell you, He WILL show you His goodness in your darkest storms.

You see, as believers, we can boldly say on any given day, that He is GOOD, even when that day and all the circumstances that surround it are not.  Why?  Because we have watched Him endure great sacrifice.  We are given promise after promise in His Word that He will never leave us nor forsake us.  And just as we have seen in Hebrews, He understands how hard it is when we are faced with daunting circumstances that seem to be bigger than we are.  And the fact of the matter is just that....our circumstances are bigger than WE are.  BUT, they are not bigger than the God who lives inside of us.  He provides everything we need to make it through each day of the storm we may be facing.

Lighthouses provide comfort to many a ship at sea.  They know the lighthouse will provide a beacon to help guide them to safety, even when they may not can see ahead of them.  They trust the lighthouse and the light it provides.  As the lighthouse is to ships at sea, so God is to His children.  Even when we cannot see how we will make it safely to shore, God provides a beacon of hope and light to guide our way.  All we must do is trust Him.  Trust His Word He has given us.

So you see, today is GOOD Friday.  It's GOOD because we have the same Jesus who sacrificed His life living inside of us.  It's GOOD, because His sacrifice enables us to say on ANY given day, HE alone is GOOD.  I urge you today, if you are facing one of your toughest battles, look UP.  Fix your eyes on Jesus.  Let His light guide you through the storm in your life.  And make HIM bigger than anything you are facing.  Exalt Him with your life, not your circumstances.  You've heard it said, "Don't tell God how big your problems are , tell your problems how big your God is."  Well, it's true!  Don't allow what you are facing to become the center of your life.  Don't allow it to take over the place in your heart that is meant for God and God alone.  When you do that, it's hard to look up and say that He is good because you can't see through the troubles you are facing.  BUT, when make God bigger than anything else in our lives, we CAN look up and say "He is GOOD, even though my times are not."  That is putting your trust in Him when life is full of crashing waves.

Today is a GOOD day friend.  It's a GOOD FRIDAY.  Thank You Jesus for Your sacrifice that enables me to say everyday, You are Good.

Stacy

Epic Fail....or Quiet Perfection?

So this was my week to play drums on our worship team at church. I haven't played regularly on the drums in many years, so I always feel quite rusty whenever I play.  This past Wednesday night we had band rehearsal and I was a ball of nerves all of practice.  I just tried to play a straight beat, no fills, no nothing.  Pretty boring actually.  But I was scared of messing up so I just played it safe.  About the last 15 minutes of practice I felt more free and so I started playing more aggressively and just letting go basically.  And my worship Pastor took notice.  Afterwards he and I had a conversation and it has etched so deeply in my spirit I can't shake it loose.

I was telling him after practice that how I was unsure of myself and was trying to play it safe so i wouldn't make any mistakes so I didn't do anything but a basic beat.  He then proceeded to tell me how he would rather I play aggressively and boldly and have an epic fail than to play safe and have quiet perfection.  And I haven't been able to shake that since.

I got to thinking about that in every aspect of my life.  But especially spiritually.  How often do we play it safe spiritually.  We never take chances because we're afraid of failing.  We ignore the urges to speak to someone or to step out and do something because we're afraid.  So we just play it safe and sit back in a quiet perfection if you will, never making any ripples against the kingdom of darkness.

I don't know about you, but I don't want quiet perfection when it comes to my walk with Jesus.  I want boldness.  I want to live so boldly for Him that I step out in faith and risk epic fails, but also find opportunities to see His kingdom advanced, rather than to stay to myself, never having made a difference.

Think about the disciples in Acts.  They prayed with BOLDNESS.  They lived aggressively for the Kingdom.  They didn't play it safe.  They took chances.  They trusted God with great faith.  And look what happened.  They didn't live with "what ifs" or looking back with regrets.  They lived for the Kingdom, and everything they did reflected that.

Think about the blind man at the gate when Jesus was passing through.  He could've sat silently just hoping Jesus would notice him. But he didn't.  He began shouting to Jesus.  He was living boldly.  He was being aggressive in his faith.  And what did Jesus do?  He healed him.

Think about Peter.  He acted boldly when he stepped out of the boat onto the water and began to walk towards Jesus.  What happened when he took his eyes off of Jesus though?  EPIC FAIL......HE SANK.

So what's the moral of this story?  It's that living for Jesus is meant to be more than a subdued and quiet reflective state.  It is meant to be lived with boldness for Him.  Yes, you can live quietly, never take chances and still go to heaven if you've asked Jesus to be Lord of your life.  BUT, what are you missing out on by never taking chances?  What greater victories have you missed out on because you were afraid?  Have you missed the miraculous in your life because you were too scared to step out and see God move?

I have.  I know that I have missed some great opportunities in my life because I was afraid.  And so I played it safe.  And those are my regrets.  But no more.  I want to live out loud for Jesus in every part of my life.  I want to exercise great faith in what I believe He can do.  I want to get out of the boat.  I want to pray boldly and expectantly.  I want to shout out His name even when those around me are silent.  Fear has no place in our lives.  It cripples us.  I don't want to be crippled.  I want to run free after the heart of God.

What about you?  Are you living boldly for Him?  Are you stepping out of the boat?  Or are you playing it safe, always looking back on the "what ifs" in your spiritual life?  Are you living with regrets because you have been wrapped up in fear?  Well no more.  Step out!  And abandon yourself totally and completely to Him and what He is doing in your life.  And what He wants to do through your life.  You don't have to be a preacher or a pastor for God to use you.  You just have to have a willing heart that is always YES LORD in every circumstance. 

He's extending His arms to us from the water today and saying, "Come."  Won't you join me?

Live boldly....
Stacy

Purging....

So we are on a mission at our house right now.  We are putting our house up for sell and moving into the city.  With that said, we are having to do some work in our house before it is ready to go on the market.  Besides the obvious repainting and things like that, our biggest job is purging.  That's right....PURGING.  And it is no fun task in this household!!!

We have only lived here a little over 6 years, but we have accumulated enough stuff that it looks like we have been here for 20.  I don't even know where it all came from.  But whatever little fairie dropped it off at my doorstep and left it, I sure wish she would just come pick it right back up and save me from the daunting task of clearing it all away!

One thing I have discovered while on this mission...when I have gotten an area in my house cleaned out good and thrown all the unneccessary stuff away, it feels GREAT.  It feels cleaner, it feels open, it feels free.  And it makes the room or area that I purged much more usable because I have cleared out SPACE.  Space that was filled with mindless little things.  Things that really should've been thrown in the trash a long time ago.  Things that are really of no value to me anymore.  Just "things" that needed to be discarded so that the area could be useful once again and not crammed full of that stuff.

You know, I think it's the same way in our lives when God begins purging us.  Is it fun when He begins the process in us?  No way.  Sometimes it just flat out hurts like the devil.  Is it necessary?  Absolutely.  It's necessary because if He doesn't purge away all the useless garbage in our lives, then we can't be very useful for His kingdom.

The dictionary defines purging as "To free from impurities; purify....To rid of sin, guilt, or defilement..."  We all have things in our lives that defile us spiritually.  It may be that unforgiveness we are holding on to, it may be an uncontrolled temper, it could be a tongue that speaks evil....   God tells us through His Word clearly what things we are to do and what needs to be purged from our life.

Ephesians 4:21-32 tells us....
21 Since you have heard about Jesus and have learned the truth that comes from him, ²² throw off your old sinful nature and your former way of life, which is corrupted by lust and deception. ²³ Instead, let the Spirit renew your thoughts and attitudes. ²⁴ Put on your new nature, created to be like God—truly righteous and holy.
 ²⁵ So stop telling lies. Let us tell our neighbors the truth, for we are all parts of the same body. ²⁶ And “don’t sin by letting anger control you.”^[d] Don’t let the sun go down while you are still angry, ²⁷ for anger gives a foothold to the devil.
 ²⁸ If you are a thief, quit stealing. Instead, use your hands for good hard work, and then give generously to others in need. ²⁹ Don’t use foul or abusive language. Let everything you say be good and helpful, so that your words will be an encouragement to those who hear them.
 ³⁰ And do not bring sorrow to God’s Holy Spirit by the way you live. Remember, he has identified you as his own,^[e] guaranteeing that you will be saved on the day of redemption.
 ³¹ Get rid of all bitterness, rage, anger, harsh words, and slander, as well as all types of evil behavior. ³² Instead, be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you.

So, after reading that, see anything that might need a little purging in your life?   I read it and think to myself, "OUCH!"  God wants to rid us of all the impurities that keep us from living a victorious life for Him.  Yes, it may hurt when He is in the purging process in our lives, but when He is done and we allow Him to rid our hearts of all the garbage, there is a glorious beauty that surrounds our hearts when we are full of HIM.  When we allow Him to purge us, the end result will be a heart that is full of Him and made useful for His kingdom.  And isn't that what we want in our heart of hearts???? I know I do.  I want His kingdom at work and active in my life.  And if there is anything in my heart that keeps Him from working in me, I want it gone!

Cleaning out and purging is never fun.  It takes time.  It takes work.  And when the Spirit of God is doing the purging, it takes submission to the Potters hands.  Allow Him to do that work in your life.  You'll like the end result....I promise.

Stacy

Going on a different run....

So I was deep into the heart of my next marathon training. I was down to just a few weeks remaining before race day on April 30.  But something happened along the way.  And I think I can trace it back to that Sunday morning run across the dam a few weeks ago.  Because nothing has been the same since then.

I finished that run that morning and haven't felt the same about running since.  Something happened in my heart that day seeing those spillways and having God speak to my heart like He did.  My heart left the physical race I was training for that day and became completely focused on my spiritual race.  I have been completely consumed with a passionate pursuit of God.  I mean consumed!!!!  Nothing else is measuring up.  I tried to keep running and training for my marathon, but my heart had left it.  So last Thursday morning as I was on what was supposed to be an 18 mile run, I got to 15 and made the decision to lay it down.  And I did it with a  peace in my heart knowing that there would be other marathons later on in my life, but I wasn't going to pass up this invitation from the heart of God to find Him and discover Him like I've never known before. 

Now, if you would've asked me 6 months ago would I ever do that, I would have firmly told you no way.  I loved running too much.  But guys, let me tell you, something happens when you get a glance of Jesus.  When you catch HIS glance, you want nothing else.  And that's where I am.  All I want is to find Him in everything.  And I look for Him everywhere I go. 

Running isn't gone from my life for good.  But I have laid it down for a time.  I used to place it before God.  I'm ashamed to say it was such an idol in my life.  But it was.  I put my runs before everything else in my life.  I was so consumed at training for marathons and everything else that I held it high in my heart.  And it took the place of Jesus.  I got a new perspective at the beginning of this year and finally got my priorities straight.  And I was able to enjoy my runs and keep Jesus on the throne of my heart! :-)  But as my heart has been drawn more and more to Him in these last couple of months, a holy fire has been lit within my heart and it seems every moment I spend alone with Jesus He just continues to pour a holy gasoline on it and cause it become a raging wild fire within my spirit now.  It is one that is consuming everything in its path too.  I mean completely consuming.

But isn't that what He does?  And what He wants to do in each of us?  To set our hearts on fire with His Spirit coming alive within us, and burning away all that is of our flesh and not of Him?  Oh, I believe with all my heart it is what God longs to do in each of us.  I think we just keep our hearts wet with cares of this world and it hinders that fire being ignited within us.  That's where I was for a good while.  But when we let those things dry up and we allow Him to ignite within us, there is no telling what all He will do within us.  And when He sets us on fire spiritually, it becomes a raging, out of control wildfire within our hearts that  forever changes who we are.  It isn't a fire to be afraid of.  It is a fire to long for.  It is a fire to seek after with all your heart.  Oh that His church would be ignited with that fire....think what we could do in this world.

He is calling each of us to run.  Not physcially, but spiritually.  He calls us to come up higher.  To run after Him.  To leave the world behind and to run after Him.  To throw caution to the wind and give it our all to go after His heart with everything within us.  We will find our joy in this pursuit.  We will find that things that used to be so important to us really don't matter in view of finding Him.  We pretty much become ruined for this world after we've had  a taste of Him.  And don't you think thats what He wants to do in all of us?  To give us a taste of Him, so that our appetites are ruined for the things of this world?

Jeremiah 29:13 gives us this promise...."You will seek Me and find Me, when you seek Me with ALL of your heart."  He promises us that we WILL find Him when we seek Him with all of our hearts. 

So, yeah, I'm still running.  But it's a different run right now.  It's a run that's going after the heart of God with everything inside of me.  I want my life consumed with Him.  I want His fire to burn away everything that's of my flesh and of this world that is inside of me.

  Don't just run.  But run with a purpose in your life.  Run after what really matters.  Run after Him.

Run hard....
Stacy