I've been thinking alot about this past year. I'd have to say, 2011 was one of the worst years of my life, but it was also the greatest year of my life. I've never seen the hand of God at work so much in my life personally. It's always cool to watch Him doing stuff in other peoples lives, but when He brings it to you personally, it will just shake you to the core.
My year started out on a 21 day fast. It was incredible. I learned the value of disconnecting from the world and connecting myself to God through prayer and fasting. It was one of the most intense and spiritually defining times of my life. It became one of those altars in my life that I'll always go back to and remember meeting with God at this place and time in my life.
The rest of my year was no different. If I had to give this year a name, it would most definitely be "Milestones and Altars", just as the blog title says. I say that, because my whole entire year was filled with one of these. The fast was both. I had never done a 21 day fast before, so it was a milestone. But I had also never met with God like that either, and therefore it became an altar, and it was truly a meeting place with Him.
During our Kingdom Advancement Conference at our church I had an altar moment when I wholeheartedly put my "yes" on the table with God. Whatever, whenever, whomever, however, I say Yes. I want all that He has for me and I want to walk every path He has laid out for me, no matter where the journey's lead me. I want to spend my life pursuing Him. Afterall, is a life that is not spent wholeheartedly pursuing Him really a life at all? I want to waste my life knowing Him in everything. All the depths and riches of Him, I want to spend my life searching them out. I say Yes.
Reading "Radical" changed my life this year. I realized that Christianity was meant to be much more than what we think. It was meant to be lived radically. Yeah, you can live your life as a Christ follower and play it safe. You can stay in the boat when something, Someone, calls you to come out of the boat in the most extreme of circumstances. You can live your Christian life following all the do's and don'ts that you've been taught all your life. You can settle for ordinary and nothing out of the box. You can sit back and watch others be "extreme" or "free spirited" in their faith and think "that's just not me". But can I tell you something? You're missing out. Jesus didn't endure a cross for you to live casually. He didn't give up His life through a cruel means of torture for you to hold on to yours. He didn't live His life as an example for you to think it was just good teachings. On the contrary, He did everything He did so we would have an example to follow, a compass for how to navigate life....His way. And that's what Radical did for me. It caused me to examine my walk, in great detail, to see just how committed I was....in every area. It fueled the desire in my heart to go on a missions trip. It ignited a holy fire within me. It brought on another altar with God. Another place of meeting.
I completed my first ever prayer journal this year. I have always started one and would eventually jump on the spiritual roller coaster that we fall prey to sometimes, and I would never finish it. I had mounds of unfinished prayer journals. I'd always just start a new one when I got back on track. Except for this year. I started it and finished it. MAJOR milestone, but also a sweet altar.
In August I was blessed to go on my first ever missions trip. We went to Zimbabwe, Africa, and I have to say, I fell in love. My heart was changed by what I saw there. My life was put into perspective. I came to a personal realization that "For God so loved the WORLD that He gave His own Son..." I saw Jesus in the faces of beautiful little African children who had absolutely nothing. I saw people who lived in conditions I could never dream of carry a smile on their face simply because they had Jesus, and they knew He was all they needed. I took God out of my box in Africa, for it was here that I come to understand He truly doesn't fit inside of my neat little box. He's much bigger than I ever give Him credit for. And the way He operates is so outside of my understanding. Trying to keep God in a box is kinda like keeping a male lion in popcorn bucket. He won't fit. He wasn't made to. And God wasn't made for the little boxes we create and put Him in either. He is the Potter, WE are the clay. If anyone was going to be in a box it would be us, but thankfully He doesn't work that way either. Yep, another altar for me.
Septemeber held quite the milestone. I turned the big 40 this year. Yes, big milestone. In October we sold our house and moved to a quaint little 3 bedroom apartment while we build. Milestone.
November would have to be the month I say that holds the greatest altar of all though. It was November 9, 2011, that I personally met Jehovah Raphi, the God Who heals. That story is detailed a little more in a previous blog post, but I'll just say this....I still go back to that day alot. I remember specific moments in great detail. I can almost smell certain things from the day. I relive that day alot in my mind. Sometimes something will happen that will trigger a memory from the day and it never fails to make me sit back and just stop and reflect on the fact that I saw God do an actual miracle. And it wasn't for someone else. It wasn't for someone I didn't know. It was for me. ME. I met Jehovah Raphi that day and I made an altar in that place so that I never forget the power, and grace, and mercy, and completely unfailing love of my God that was shown to me.
The first of December I had major surgery. A total hysterectomy to be exact. It has been life altering as well in a different way! It was a kind of milestone, I guess, but it is becoming another altar along the way. That's for a blog post later :-)
Today is the last day of 2011. For the first time in my life, I have completed reading through the entire bible this year. And I can't wait to start all over again tomorrow. This has also been both a milestone and an altar. Through reading through God's Word, I have come to know Him like I haven't before. I've learned things about Him. I've discovered His ways are not like mine. I've discovered that He was....He is....He will be. I discovered I Am.
Here's what I'm taking into 2012: I didn't do everything right last year. I won't do everything right next year. What I have to focus on is simple really...obedience. I need to focus on being in obedient in the small things He places before me. I want ears to hear, eyes to see, a heart that is always open to His leading, and lips that speak His truth with conviction. I'm so thankful that He is a Father Who makes all things new. He cleanses our past and gives us a new future. No matter what we did in the past, nothing is so big or horrible that His grace, mercy and forgiveness cannot cleanse and make new. He washes, He restores, and He gives us a future.
I'm so grateful for 2011. I am expectant for 2012. And not just expectant, I'm packing my bags and setting sail to embark on the discovery of a lifetime. This year I am going after His heart....the deepest parts of His heart. I want to know HIM. Every part of Him that I can find and that He will reveal.
Thanks for journeying with me in 2011. Lets all set sail together in 2012. Happy New Year!
Stacy
