My Desire....

As I write this blog today, I'm completely immersed in a sweet, sweet Presence of Almighty God.  Listening to a song by Jeremy Camp, called "My Desire", it has inspired me to write a bit today.

The last several weeks have been quite the dry spell for me spiritually.  It has been hard coming off of what seemed like an abundance of spiritual springs of water flowing through my life.  But, nonetheless, it has been a growing time for me.  God is teaching me lessons on waiting, on patience, on love, on life. 

It's never easy when He begins to open up certain pages of our hearts and show us what is hiding beneath things in our lives.  We have such a tendency to sweep those "little things" under rugs in our lives.  Things that don't seem like that big of a deal really.  You know, bad attitudes, little bouts of pride, comments that should have never been spoken, little resentment towards others who don't treat us like we think they should, unresolved moments of anger....you get the picture.  They seem small, at times in our eyes, so we just pick up a rug and sweep them under it thinking they are really no big deal.  Until one day He picks that rug up because it has gathered quite the pile of rubbish under it.  And then our eyes are opened to what's been happening all along.

Let's just admit it, it's just plain easier to NOT deal with things sometimes.  It's easier to push them aside, sweep them under a rug and go on about our day, pretending to forget that they are even there.  But, deep down we know they are.  And when He begins to reveal those things, we are faced with a choice.  Will we allow His Spirit to convict and change us, or do we push His conviction aside and thus allow our hearts to become hardened over time because we aren't willing to allow the Potter to form and mold His piece of clay?

This is where I am today.  Listening to one of my favorite songs by Chris Sligh, Empty Me, I began to really listen to the words of this song.  This is the chorus....
    "I know how I can stray
     And how fast my heart could change, so
     Empty me...Of the selfishness inside
     Every vain ambition
    And the poison of my pride
    ...And any foolish thing my heart holds to
    Lord empty me of ME, So I can be...
    Filled with You"
I sooooo need to be emptied of ME, so I can be filled with Him.  Busyness, fatigue, it all can take a toll on us spiritually.  We get tired and then we start to allow our time we would normally spend with Him and His Word to become shortened.  We do it just a little each day, until one day we realize our time with Him has not been much of a priority as it once was.  It becomes easier to let it slide.  And just weeks before it was what our hearts was most excited about when going to bed at night....longing to meet with Him as soon as we got up the next morning.  I wonder how His heart feels when He awaits to meet with us, only to find the seat across from Him empty...again.  I wonder how His heart breaks to know He had so much to show us that day, to pour into us, only to find that we were a no show....again.  And why?  Because we became filled with us.  It's time to be emptied.

I don't know about you, but today, my desire is to take the lid off, pour out all of me, so He can pour Himself back in.  All my vain ambitions, all my everything, pour it ALL out at His feet.  The selfishness that seems to consume me....the pride that overtakes me.....all of it.  I want to be a fragrant offering to my Jesus.  A fragrant offering that pours out all of me, to get more of Him.  I want the Master Potter to take His creating hands and shape and mold this piece of clay into what He desires my life to be.  THIS, is my desire.

~Stacy