So years ago when I was dealing with infertility, it took a toll on me spiritually. I was so hurt and angry and sad and just down right depressed. It was all I wanted in this world. Just to have a baby. But it just wasn't happening. Through my journey, I ended up at a scary place in my walk in with Christ. There came a point that I found myself at the edge of a very dangerous cliff. This cliff was a place where I could jump and turn my back on Christ, or could I turn around and go back to what I knew to be truth about Him. I have to be honest...I looked over the edge. I thought seriously about jumping. My heart had so many questions and was so hurt. I had allowed the enemy of my soul to sneak in and whisper lies to my heart about the goodness of my Father. And the sad thing...I was believing them.
So I stood on the edge of that cliff, pondering what it would mean to jump. What I would really lose if I did. What would really be the consequences. And I looked down into a bottomless pit beneath me. Pitch black, and bottomless. But after looking for some time, I decided to turn around and begin the journey back. The journey that took me back to Him, to His truth, to His embrace.
When I began that journey back, I wasn't alone. He came running to meet me. Just like Father....to come running after us when He sees us on that journey back home to Him. And through that He transformed my heart completely.
Well this leads me to the current time in my life. I have been on a passionate pursuit of Him for some time now. Since January I have put on my spiritual running shoes and started running after Him. And it has just progressed to such a degree that the same high I used to get while doing a physical run, I now get when I am running with Him each day. I am obsessed with Him. With finding His heart.
For the last few weeks my heart has really been stirred. Stirred to a point that it is new territory for me spiritually. I've never walked in such a way with my Father. And now I find myself at another cliff in my life. More like the grand canyon type of cliffs this time. And what I see when I look out is the sky and a vast sea of opportunities in Him. And this time, HE is calling me to jump. Not just jump, but to take a running leap and fly with Him. To soar on the wings of Him, to fly so high I can feel the wind in the trees, to see leaves dancing. To take a running leap and not knowing where the wind of His Spirit will take me, but to just trust His ability to get me there. And so I did it. With no hesitation, I have taken off running as hard as I could, and I leaped off the edge of this cliff. And let me tell you, I'm flying.
Where am I flying? Well, apparently my Father has seen fit to carry me to a place I never dreamed. I'm leaving for Africa in less than two weeks. I have no idea what to expect. I only want to go into this trip with the expectation that He has brought me to this place for His kingdom purposes. It is certainly not of my doing. It's all Him.
So, I'm cutting loose every tie I have with the things of this world. I'm leaving them all behind. Anything that weighs me down or keeps me from leaping off the edge, I am counting as loss. I count everything as loss compared to the awesome priviledge of knowing Him, of flying with Him. I want to soar. I want to experience everything He has destined for my life. I want to be radical in how I live my life for Him. What others may think is crazy or insane or a waste, I want to give to Him. It's His anyway. My life, your life, everything. It all belongs to Abba.
Let's fly...
Stacy
Thursday, July 21, 2011
Monday, July 18, 2011
A Holy Embrace....
I am a hugger. I love to hug. I don't like those little "pat" hugs either. If we're going to hug, then let's hug. I want to squeeze your head off your shoulders. If I hug you, then when we're done hugging, you're going to know that I love you. Period! Hugs make me happy. I am a touchy person for the most part and a hug to me just says "I love you" better than anything sometimes.
There's a big difference between a hug and an embrace though. A hug is good, but an embrace, well it's full of many more emotions. If we embrace, then we are sharing more than just a small hug. We are sharing an intimate moment. Understand? I love the sweet embrace of my husband and kids. We hug and it becomes an embrace out of our deep love for one another. LIke when I have been gone and haven't seen my kids for a few days, when we finally see each other we share a very sweet embrace. It says "I love you, I have missed you and you are mine!" I love a sweet embrace of a friend. When a hug becomes an embrace out of sharing difficult battles together or just sharing Jesus with each other. Recently I had been talking with a sweet girl all week via text because she was out of town. We had shared some sweet, sweet moments together about what God was doing in her life. And so we decided when she got back we would meet together and talk about all that happened that week. When I pulled up to meet her, she came barrelling across the yard and we hugged for what seemed like an eternity. That hug became a very sweet embrace. An embrace that spoke much love. Those kinds of embraces are what makes my heart skip beats. But as great as those embraces and hugs are, I love the embrace of my Father even more. There is no embrace on earth quite like the sweet embrace of my heavenly Father. It's in an embrace with Father that we come to see the meaning to Abba Father in our lives. It's through an embrace with Him that we come to "know" His radical love for each of us.
I've recently come to a very real realization of this in my life. Through spending time with Him and pursuing Him, I have been swept away and into the arms of the greatest Love I've ever known. I have crawled up into His lap and spent many, many moments there in His sweet embrace. And THOSE moments with Father radically change our lives. Those moments cause your heart to abandon all that it once held dear in order to pursue more passionate moments with Him.
Through these embraces with our Father, we come to real heart of worship in our lives too. I think of Mary when I think of worship. Remember the story? It's found in Mark 14....
3 Meanwhile, Jesus was in Bethany at the home of Simon, a man who had previously had leprosy. While he was eating,[a] a woman came in with a beautiful alabaster jar of expensive perfume made from essence of nard. She broke open the jar and poured the perfume over his head.
4 Some of those at the table were indignant. “Why waste such expensive perfume?” they asked. 5 “It could have been sold for a year’s wages[b] and the money given to the poor!” So they scolded her harshly.
6 But Jesus replied, “Leave her alone. Why criticize her for doing such a good thing to me? 7 You will always have the poor among you, and you can help them whenever you want to. But you will not always have me. 8 She has done what she could and has anointed my body for burial ahead of time. 9 I tell you the truth, wherever the Good News is preached throughout the world, this woman’s deed will be remembered and discussed.”
Mary's worship has echoed into eternity. She gave all she had in her worship of Him. It was extravagant. And the fragrance of her worship still fills the earth today. Think of every time you've heard this story. It's a radical form of worship that still is talked about to this day. Mary radically cut away what the world thought was security and of great value. She wanted to "waste" her life at the feet of Jesus. Wow. Just think about that statement! She was radical in her worship and it was beautiful in the Father's eyes. Her worship was a fragrant offering to Him. I wonder, is that how our worship is? Is our worship such that it creates a fragrant aroma when we pour it out? You can't give God your life in heaven. You can only do that here on earth. He is worth giving up everything we hold dear to pour our lives out for in complete worship while we are here. Worship when worship costs us something. That's a worship that touches Father's heart.
Mary found the treasure of His heart and she knew it was something worth losing everything for. Have we found the treasure of His heart yet? If so, are we willing to pour out everything we have in order to give our worship back to Him? I don't know about you, but I want a holy embrace to define my life. What the world sees as a waste, I want to pour over His feet. He IS someone worth giving up everything for. And He is worth our fragrant offerings.
There's a big difference between a hug and an embrace though. A hug is good, but an embrace, well it's full of many more emotions. If we embrace, then we are sharing more than just a small hug. We are sharing an intimate moment. Understand? I love the sweet embrace of my husband and kids. We hug and it becomes an embrace out of our deep love for one another. LIke when I have been gone and haven't seen my kids for a few days, when we finally see each other we share a very sweet embrace. It says "I love you, I have missed you and you are mine!" I love a sweet embrace of a friend. When a hug becomes an embrace out of sharing difficult battles together or just sharing Jesus with each other. Recently I had been talking with a sweet girl all week via text because she was out of town. We had shared some sweet, sweet moments together about what God was doing in her life. And so we decided when she got back we would meet together and talk about all that happened that week. When I pulled up to meet her, she came barrelling across the yard and we hugged for what seemed like an eternity. That hug became a very sweet embrace. An embrace that spoke much love. Those kinds of embraces are what makes my heart skip beats. But as great as those embraces and hugs are, I love the embrace of my Father even more. There is no embrace on earth quite like the sweet embrace of my heavenly Father. It's in an embrace with Father that we come to see the meaning to Abba Father in our lives. It's through an embrace with Him that we come to "know" His radical love for each of us.
I've recently come to a very real realization of this in my life. Through spending time with Him and pursuing Him, I have been swept away and into the arms of the greatest Love I've ever known. I have crawled up into His lap and spent many, many moments there in His sweet embrace. And THOSE moments with Father radically change our lives. Those moments cause your heart to abandon all that it once held dear in order to pursue more passionate moments with Him.
Through these embraces with our Father, we come to real heart of worship in our lives too. I think of Mary when I think of worship. Remember the story? It's found in Mark 14....
3 Meanwhile, Jesus was in Bethany at the home of Simon, a man who had previously had leprosy. While he was eating,[a] a woman came in with a beautiful alabaster jar of expensive perfume made from essence of nard. She broke open the jar and poured the perfume over his head.
4 Some of those at the table were indignant. “Why waste such expensive perfume?” they asked. 5 “It could have been sold for a year’s wages[b] and the money given to the poor!” So they scolded her harshly.
6 But Jesus replied, “Leave her alone. Why criticize her for doing such a good thing to me? 7 You will always have the poor among you, and you can help them whenever you want to. But you will not always have me. 8 She has done what she could and has anointed my body for burial ahead of time. 9 I tell you the truth, wherever the Good News is preached throughout the world, this woman’s deed will be remembered and discussed.”
Mary's worship has echoed into eternity. She gave all she had in her worship of Him. It was extravagant. And the fragrance of her worship still fills the earth today. Think of every time you've heard this story. It's a radical form of worship that still is talked about to this day. Mary radically cut away what the world thought was security and of great value. She wanted to "waste" her life at the feet of Jesus. Wow. Just think about that statement! She was radical in her worship and it was beautiful in the Father's eyes. Her worship was a fragrant offering to Him. I wonder, is that how our worship is? Is our worship such that it creates a fragrant aroma when we pour it out? You can't give God your life in heaven. You can only do that here on earth. He is worth giving up everything we hold dear to pour our lives out for in complete worship while we are here. Worship when worship costs us something. That's a worship that touches Father's heart.
Mary found the treasure of His heart and she knew it was something worth losing everything for. Have we found the treasure of His heart yet? If so, are we willing to pour out everything we have in order to give our worship back to Him? I don't know about you, but I want a holy embrace to define my life. What the world sees as a waste, I want to pour over His feet. He IS someone worth giving up everything for. And He is worth our fragrant offerings.
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