A good friend of mine introduced me to a new song today. It's apparently been around for a while because it was an older Casting Crowns song. Just as the blog title reads, that is the name of the song as well. Before I post the lyrics to this song, let me give you a glimpse of where my heart is today.
Earlier today I was having a conversation about this same thing with another friend altogether. We were talking about how we are always so eager and willing to say yes to God when it is about something big. Like, something that involves our grand destiny. He asks us to go to Africa and we say yes because it's in our hearts and we want to do something big for Him. He asks us to commit our lives to full time ministry and we say yes because it's big and its' what our hearts have always wanted to do since the first time we felt His call on our lives. So we say yes and we then naturally feel we have our yes on the table when it comes to God. We say we are radically obedient because we said yes in the big things.
But as I've started thinking about this, it's not the big yeses that make us radical in our obedience. It's all the little yeses along the way. You know, the saying yes to Him asking us to walk in forgiveness. The saying yes to Him asking us to stop and help the wounded traveler like the good Samaritan. The saying yes to what seems like an interruption to where we are going, but in all reality is the reason we are going where we are. The saying yes to putting comfort and selfishness aside and allowing ourselves to hurt with the hurting and sympathize with the broken and those in need.
It's so easy to look past the need of others. Especially when they aren't necessarily close to us or personally in our lives. And even when they are a part of our lives, it's so easy to overlook those hurting around us so that we don't have to get dirty and mixed up in their problems. And we totally miss the point and purpose of why Jesus called us. We missed the reason of why He came to us in the first place.
I think about the people I met in Africa. Those children who were starving and who were orphans. Those people who had nothing. As time and distance came between us, it became easier and easier to forget what we saw there. To forget the needs of those we met. You know the saying, 'out of sight, out of mind'. Yeah, that's how it is.
But what if it's not time and distance that caused the lack of identifying with them. What if it's simply that our hearts grow cold because we quit saying yes along the way. What if our surrender turns cold because we begin to neglect the gentle call of His voice in all things big and small. We end up wasting time in our preparation stages because we get so focused on the big things He has called us to do, and when the time comes for Him to bring about our destinies, we aren't ready because we hindered His plans by our lack of total surrender in all things.
It breaks my heart to think of all the missed opportunities I've had before me but failed to notice or respond to because my lips said yes but my heart said no. I don't want to be "that" person. I don't want average and mundane to ever be able to be used to describe my faith or my obedience when it comes to Father. I want to be the one who jumps out of the boat and goes running to Him in the middle of the storm instead of having to be persuaded.
I am so grateful for His grace though. I'm learning that His grace far exceeds my lack of obedience. His grace far exceeds anything I can even comprehend. I don't want to lose the sense of awe at His marvelous gift of grace towards my life. I don't want to expect Him to bestow grace upon me regardless of how I act. He doesn't have to bestow mercy and grace upon me, but yet, He chooses to because of His indescribable love for me. When we come to a place where we expect Him to give us grace, we've moved from walking humbly before our God into pride and nothing will cause His presence to flee from our lives than rotten pride. He resists the proud, but He gives more grace to the humble. God keep our hearts humble before You.
I'll close with the lyrics to this song. If you're like me, I relate so much to these words and I don't want them to define me. I don't want 2012 to be one of those "caught in the middle" years. I want it to be radical faith, radical obedience, radical abandonment to ALL of His Word. All of me for all of Him. My best for His glory. My utmost for His highest in all things.
Somewhere between the hot and the cold
Somewhere between the new and the old
Somewhere between who I am and who I used to be
Somewhere in the middle, You'll find me
Somewhere between the wrong and the right
Somewhere between the darkness and the light
Somewhere between who I was and who You're making me
Somewhere in the middle, You'll find me
Just how close can I get, Lord, to my surrender without losing all control
Fearless warriors in a picket fence, reckless abandon wrapped in common sense
Deep water faith in the shallow end and we are caught in the middle
With eyes wide open to the differences, the God we want and the God who is
But will we trade our dreams for His or are we caught in the middle
Are we caught in the middle
Somewhere between my heart and my hands
Somewhere between my faith and my plans
Somewhere between the safety of the boat and the crashing waves
Somewhere between a whisper and a roar
Somewhere between the altar and the door
Somewhere between contented peace and always wanting more
Somewhere in the middle You'll find me
Just how close can I get, Lord, to my surrender without losing all control
Lord, I feel You in this place and I know You're by my side
Loving me even on these nights when I'm caught in the middle
Caught In The Middle, Casting Crowns
