So, I've been a little absent from the blog for a while. Part of it is that I am way too easily distracted and can't find 5 minutes to sit down and actually type. The other part is the greater reason though.
Have you ever found yourself in a place where what people say to you or about you becomes the driving force of your life? And I'm not talking about the bad stuff. I'm talking about the praise, the admonition...you know - all the stuff that adds a little kick to your step sometimes. The bad stuff has a tendency to do the same thing, but for me, I was at a place where what people were saying was holding more weight and becoming more important to me than what God was actually saying. Or trying to say.
So I took a break from things. I stepped back and removed myself from public eye as much as I could. But it wasn't just my doing. God was leading me down this path. And this path led me straight to a desert.
I've always had bad experiences in the desert times of my life. I always assume I have done some big sin or something and have caused the Lord to withdraw from me. And while that is the case sometimes - our sins cause us to seperate from God - it was not the case this time.
I don't enjoy being "alone" for the most part. I'm a people person and like to be surrounded with people. But for this time and this season, He began to pull me away from the crowds and pull me to Himself. He began to show me that I was to find my source of life and fulfillment through Him...NOT people. I had gotten so caught up in mans words, that I was missing out on what God's words to me were. I had to be at a place where I drew my strength from fountains HE provided in this desert place. He brought me to this place to show me truth and shed some light on my heart.
What' I've come to learn is that the desert can actually be a good place. And the desert usually comes before the next work God is doing or about to do.
In Exodus 13 we see that God led the Israelites through the desert when they left Egypt. It was on their way to the Promised Land. But why the desert? I think I've learned a few things about this place while I've been here. Hoping that sharing what I've learned can help you if you find yourself travelling along this road one day as well.
This desert is dry. But I'm only passing through. He says not to settle in this place, don't get comfortabe with the surroundings. It's meant to be a temporary place. I don't unpack everything and settle in. I may sleep over at stops along the way, but I am never to turn it into my home. That's not what it's meant to be.
I look to Jesus in this place. I find the fountains that He provides along the way.
It's lonely in the desert. There is no one else around. All other voices have been removed. His is the only voice that needs to be heard. If He doesn't speak, I hear nothing. The glory from man is removed. It's so dry here that man's words do not bring refreshment. Man's words become like desert sand. He provides an oasis in the midde of the barrenness and dryness.
If I were to become comfortable here, I would settle. And if I settle, I've missed the point of this place altogether.
My feelings are meaningless here. If I listen to my feelings I become decieved. My feelings may tell me that He has left me. My feelings tell me it's no use. If I listen I settle for the dryness. That's not what He desires.
In this desert land, I tell myself keep marching on....
I have to do things to nourish my weary soul. I must stay in His Word, even if there are no feelings to go with it.
He wants to give us life sustaining water in these places. He longs to give us water that takes away our thirst for the natural completely. What He longs to give us becomes like a spring within us.
So I ask these questions....does the desert become a place where, if we allow Him by taking the Water of Life through His Word, it will take away our thirst for anything else? Is the desert the place where He can rid our hearts of clutter, where He shows us HE is the life sustaining water? Is this the place where He removes the thirst within me for man's approval? I think YES.
Hosea 2:14-16 says...
"I will lead her into the desert and speak tenderly to her there. I will transform the valley of trouble into a gateway of hope. When that day comes, you will call Me "My husband" instead of my Master."
He led me into the desert to develop a new intimacy between He and I. He led me into the desert to speak tenderly to my heart. He led me into the desert to draw me away from the world for just a bit.
I obey a master, but I deeply love and have great affection for my husband. He has led me to the desert to transform my heart to know Him on that kind of intimacy. To move from being just a rule follower, to having deep intimacy with Him alone.
The desert may not be the "hip" place to be. It may not be comfortable. But when He leads us here and His Presence is with us, it's the ONLY place to be.
So the cry of my heart has become like that of Moses when he was in the desert.
"If You don't personally go with me, don't make me leave this place." Exodus 33:15
I've determined I'd rather stay with His Presence in the desert than to be without Him in the world.
