What's Your Story?

There's a song out called "When Love Sees You" by Mac Powell of Mercy Me.  The words were echoing through my heart this morning as I prepared to write this first of many in a blog series for infertility.

Tell Me your story, show Me your wounds
And I'll show you what Love sees when Love looks at you
Hand Me the pieces, broken and bruised
And I'll show you what Love sees when Love sees you

I see what I made in your mother's womb
And I see the day I fell in love with you
I see your tomorrows, nothing left to chance
I see My Father's fingerprints

I see your story, I see My name
Written on every beautiful page
You see the struggle, you see the shame
I see the reason I came

I came for your story, I came for your wounds
To show you what Love sees when I see you


I wanted to start out the first in this series with my story. Some of you who know me, know my story. But for those who don't, here ya go.

Do you remember the moment you made the decision to have a baby with your husband? You had the dream for years, and then you get married and the day comes when you make the decision that it's time to start your family. Boy meets girl, they fall in love, they get married, they have a baby and live happily forever after.  Right?

Sounds good, but unfortunately life isn't always a fairytale.

My husband and I had the same dream. We made the decision to start our family and when days began to turn into weeks, weeks into months and months into years, we got confused. After so many months of failed trys, we saw a doctor. Of course, we went through all the various tests to see what was going on. Our issue is not really one you hear alot of. We had an issue with our antibodies. They apparently didn't get along too well. And for reasons I couldn't see at the time, that sealed the door closed on our hopes for a child.

Like all women who get this news, I was devastated. I spent many, many months in anguish. The baby showers, the baby dedications, the Mothers/Fathers Day celebrations - all the things that tear a woman up going through infertility...yep -  been there, done that.

The stages and cycles of grief a woman goes through when a doctor says the dreaded word "infertility" are so crazy its hard to even put into adequate words.  But, they are real, nonetheless. They tear our hearts apart. They shout questions into our broken hearts. They bring wounds.

We have questions like -
 Why me?
 What's wrong with me?
 Does God not really love me?
 Why did He make me like this?

And a vast array of tons of more questions.

All these questions, all this pain, all this heartache.  Sometimes it's too much to bear. We find ourselves in a deep, black hole of emotional turmoil and depression. Our story soon begins to feel more like a nightmare than like a fairytale anymore.  I know, because I lived it for many years.

As I was listening to the song and thinking about all that's going through my heart on this topic, these words began to just come alive.

This is our story...we are walking through infertility. Our story is full of heartache and disappointment, of questions and hurts.  But here is our hope in the midst of it all....we have Him.

Would you allow the words of this song to wash over you today?  When the day is full of pain, tell your story to Jesus. Hand Him the broken and bruised pieces of your heart. Would you take your questions and give them to Him?  Let Him answer you through His Word.

Here's hope - He sees every tear.  He sees every moment you find yourself on your face in the pit of despair because another month has passed with nothing.  He sees every hope and dream you have running through your heart about your future. He sees YOU.  All of you. And He extends His hand to you to come with Him and find joy in your mourning.

He gives us a promise that we can always count on. Hebrews 13:5 assures us that He will never leave us or forsake us. Even when it may seem He is absent, I can assure you He's not.  Even when you can't see Him, He hasn't left your side.  Sometimes the darkness around us may hinder our view, but I can promise you He's still there.

There's lots more to my story, and I'll share it as we go through this journey together. I can tell you this - my story didn't end with infertility's heartbreak. It just began.  And it didn't end in sadness and despair. Yes, they were all part of the journey, but it didn't end there.  And yours doesn't have to either. 

What's your story? I'd love to hear it if you're willing to share it. 

I've got some cool things coming on here in some of the posts.  I have some people who have walked through this journey and want to share what they've learned as well.  Women - like you and me - who know the pain of infertility, but who also found the joy of hope in Christ alone.

Today, stand on the promise that He hasn't left you. And He never will.

Stacy