Tackling Infertility Head On

As most of you know if you've read my book, I battled the pains of infertility for several years. Because of that, I have a deep place in my heart for women who are walking those darkened days.  Though the years God has brought women into my path who were in it and needed encouragement along the way.

Which brings me to today.

When I was going through it, I searched constantly for a source of encouragement. I wanted to connect with other women who were at the same place I was. I needed to hear from people who knew exactly how I was feeling and who could help pull me from my pit of despair.

I fully believe that when God allows us to walk through something, He not only sees our path to freedom, but He sees others along the way that He will bring across our paths so that we can offer support and encouragement to them on their journey.

And that's what I want to do.

I know several women in my current circle of friends who are battling this right now.  I bet you do, too.  I want to reach out and offer hope to the hopeless. I want to encourage the barren woman to sing in this midst of her despair. I want to see her look up and catch the gaze of her heavenly Father offering her hope in the darkness and joy in her mourning.

I'm going to start a short series here on the blog for just that purpose. I'm going to talk openly and detailed about what infertility is and how it affects a woman going through it in so many ways.  I hope to bring to light some mysteries and confusions people have with it, and hopefully to give you a source of encouragement that you can offer to someone going through it.

Here's what I need from you right now though...I want to hear from you.  All of you! If you are currently going through infertility, what are your battles? What are your fears? What do struggle with the most?  Let's get open and real with it. I want to address it all.

If you are the friend of someone going through infertility and find yourself not knowing how to help them or encourage them, what are your questions?

I hope to answer all that I can.  I may not have all the answers, but I know the One who does, and together, we will make it through this journey! :)

You can comment here on this post or you can privately message me at dailyendurance@yahoo.com
with your questions or anything you want to see addressed here on this blog about it.

There IS hope to be found in the despair.  There IS joy to be found in the mourning.

I'll be posting everything here on the blog, but it will link to my facebook and twitter accounts.  If you know someone who needs it, please send them my way.

For His glory,
Stacy

Here I am, send me....

My heart has been in a flurry lately from hearing stories of people who are currently walking through places my heart has travelled dealing with infertility and adoption.

Because I know the pain of what those hard days can bring in infertility, I also know the hope that can be found in the midst of them.  Why? Because I found it first hand. I was lost in the sea of despair and hopelessness, but I was found.  I know what it's like to be lost in pain and uncertainty.  And I know what it's like to be found by the One Who loved me all along.

Sometimes it takes a miracle to pull us out of something we're going through, but other times, it just takes another heart who has felt the same pains we are feeling, to come alongside and encourage us along the way. And that's what God calls us to do.

He calls us to go and find the lost.  Not just the ones lost from God by their sin, but the ones who are lost in their circumstances.  The ones who are lost in their difficult moments.  The ones who are lost in their dirty, muddy, messy moments they call life.  He calls us to THEM.

It's easy to turn our heads and ignore their pain. It's easier to close our ears to their cries for help.  It's easier to stay snuggled safely in the shelter of our own world, away from the cares and needs of others.  But is that really what Christ died for?  Did He really give up everything for me, just so I could be selfish and lazy and lacking sympathy and love for my fellow man?  Really?

Do I really have the audacity to look Him in the face and tell Him I don't have time to care for the hurting, to help the lonely, to love the unlovable, to go into the hard places where people are void of life and hope and bring them the love that Christ so freely showed me?  Really??

I sometimes wander what He is thinking when He looks and sees so much hurt in the hearts of people and when He nudges His children to go and be the light that He has called us to be, we immediately begin vomitting out our excuses as to why we can't.  I wander what it does to His heart when His children fail to live out the calling He has placed on each of our lives because we are too busy giving Him all the excuses about meaningless things. I'm pretty sure it breaks His heart.  And I imagine He shakes His head in amazement and bewilderment more times than not.

I have been guilty of excuses.  Many, many times.  But you know what? No more. No more offering Him excuses and why something can't be done with me.  No more turning my head, my ears, my eyes, my heart to the hurting.  He has called me to GO.  To Do.  To Be.  Go, do, be...what?  To go as an extension of Him.  Go to the hurting.  Go to the helpless.  Go to the downtrodden. GO to the lost. To DO what He has called every born again believer to do in sharing His heart and His love to this world.  To BE all that He has called me to be.  To BE the light.  To Be His heart.  To BE His arms.  To BE His extension.  To BE Christlike in every way.

So, where do we start?  We start with what we know.  I'm going to start with what I know and what I have learned.  There are so many women out there who struggle with infertility.  There are women out there who have adopted and are facing the same issues I face everyday.  I'm starting there.

How do we start?  We just ask Him to put us in front of the people who need to hear our stories of grace.  We ask Him to open our eyes to see those that are lost in front of us. We ask Him to make us aware of the hurting.

And then? Then we throw excuse out the window.  Then we throw caution to the wind and we GO.  No questions, no excuses.  We go. Relentless obedience, even in the face of difficulty. 

It's time we roll up our pants, push up our sleeves, get down in the muddy messes of peoples lives and get busy being what the church should have been all along....just like Jesus.

I'm ready to go and make a difference in my world for Christ. Are you?

Want a free download of A Dance In the Dark?

I've had so much response from people lately, I'm giving away 10 free ebook downloads of the book! Here's how to enter.... leave me a comment below and tell me why you want the book.  I'll post the winners on Friday!

Have You Seen His Heart Lately?

Today my heart is full and heavy all at the same time.

Our team from church leaves for Africa this afternoon, but I won't be on that plane.  And that breaks my heart.  I absolutely fell head over heels in love with the people in Zimbabwe last year. My time there was life changing.

While my heart is sad I don't get to be there this year, my heart is also pondering all the things God has done in me since my time there last year.

I saw so many new facets of God and His creation while there, but the greatest and probably most life changing that I saw was His heart for people.  My eyes were completely opened to the fact that God doesn't just love America. He didn't just die for Americans. He is filled with compassion and an abundant love for peoples of every tribe, nation and color.  He knows them each by name. Names I can't even pronounce. Names and faces I will never know or see.  He knows them intimately.  He knows them personally.  Before they were ever created He saw their substance, and all their days were written in His book before they ever came to be. (Psalms 139:16)

That just blows my mind. I can't even keep up with my own 3 kids names half the time.  Yet, He knows every hair on our head. He knows us each by name. Wow. 


As I think back on a particular night over there last year, I go back to an evening where we had shared the Jesus film on a big screen out in the middle of the bush in a city called Triangle. People were responding to the invitation at the end to recieve Christ. That's when it hit me.  That's when I realized and grabbed hold of the truth that God so loved the "WORLD".  He LOVES these people. He is filled with compassion for them. He desires intimate relationship with them. He longs to be gracious to them. People who I have no idea who they are, He loves them.

 

 

 



This has really opened my eyes to see that my heart is so far from His. God forgive me. God forgive us that we become so consumed in our own lives that we neglect those whom we DO know, those that we DO see. I don't have to go to Africa to find hurting people. I can walk outside my door and I am surrounded by them. I am surrounded by orphans and widows. I am surrounded by the broken and downtrodden.

So what do I really take away from all this today? I go today and I love the world. I love the people around me. I love the unlovable. I go to the orphans and widows in my personal world and care for them. I go to the poor and helpless and I love them. I become an extension of God's heart to the people in my Jerusalem. I show mercy and love instead of hatred and judging. I go to the highways and byways in my area and I extend the love of Christ. I look to the people in my circle of influence and I share the love of Jesus with them.

My prayer today is that He break our heart with what breaks His. That He gives us eyes to see His people and His creation the way He does. That He gives us a passion for people like He has. And ultimately, that He just transforms me to be more like Him, and much less like me.

Living on Purpose

The look in the picture says it all, huh? One is always smiling perfectly.  One is doing the half smile because he hates the awkwardness of pictures.  And then there's the one who absolutely hates having his picture made. Ever. 

Today was our first day of school. A tad emotional for this mom I must say. It's our first day of high school, our first day of middle school, and our last first day of elementary school for my 5th grader. Time flies.

It seems like yesterday I was just meeting the boys for the first time. Sigh....

I was so amused yesterday as they were enjoying their official last day of summer break.  They were trying to soak up every last minute before it was over.  They probably were more intentional yesterday than they were all summer. They were living every moment on purpose.

Which got me thinking...

They spent all summer just doing this and that, and basically taking summer at a hit and miss kind of attitude. They weren't intentional in what they did, or how they enjoyed it.  They just played and went about their business like summer would last forever. Until yesterday. And then they realized summer was over. So they went scurrying around trying to purposefully capture every moment.

Sounds to me like how we live our Christian lives, doesn't it! We live day to day, never being intentional in what we are doing. We live like whatever we are doing now will go on forever. We fail to live our lives for a purpose or with a purpose. UNTIL...

Until tragedy strikes.
Until our circumstances change.
Until a dream gets crushed.
Until times change.
Until....you fill in the blank.

Then what? We scurry around trying to make the most of things. We are forced to be intentional in what we are doing.

I don't want to live that way. I don't want you to live that way.

What if we lived our lives in such a way that we were intentional about each day. We made it our mission to seek the heart of God and follow HIS plans for the day. We lived our life on purpose and with passion, making the most of every moment, in every circumstance. What would our lives look like?

It's a new year. It's a new day. It's a new season. Let's live intentionally and on purpose. Who knows what we might accomplish for the Kingdom!

Stacy

All My Fountains...

So, I've been a little absent from the blog for a while. Part of it is that I am way too easily distracted and can't find 5 minutes to sit down and actually type.  The other part is the greater reason though.

Have you ever found yourself in a place where what people say to you or about you becomes the driving force of your life?  And I'm not talking about the bad stuff. I'm talking about the praise, the admonition...you know - all the stuff that adds a little kick to your step sometimes.  The bad stuff has  a tendency to do the same thing, but for me, I was at a place where what people were saying was holding more weight and becoming more important to me than what God was actually saying.  Or trying to say.

So I took a break from things.  I stepped back and removed myself from public eye as much as I could.  But it wasn't just my doing. God was leading me down this path. And this path led me straight to a desert.

I've always had bad experiences in the desert times of my life. I always assume I have done some big sin or something and have caused the Lord to withdraw from me.  And while that is the case sometimes - our sins cause us to seperate from God - it was not the case this time.

I don't enjoy being "alone" for the most part.  I'm a people person and like to be surrounded with people. But for this time and this season, He began to pull me away from the crowds and pull me to Himself. He began to show me that I was to find my source of life and fulfillment through Him...NOT people.  I had gotten so caught up in mans words, that I was missing out on what God's words to me were. I had to be at a place where I drew my strength from fountains HE provided in this desert place. He brought me to this place to show me truth and shed some light on my heart.

What' I've come to learn is that the desert can actually be a good place.  And the desert usually comes before the next work God is doing or about to do.

In Exodus 13 we see that God led the Israelites through the desert when they left Egypt.  It was on their way to the Promised Land.  But why the desert? I think I've learned a few things about this place while I've been here. Hoping that sharing what I've learned can help you if you find yourself travelling along this road one day as well.

This desert is dry. But I'm only passing through.  He says not to settle in this place, don't get comfortabe with the surroundings.  It's meant to be a temporary place. I don't unpack everything and settle in.  I may sleep over at stops along the way, but I am never to turn it into my home. That's not what it's meant to be.

I look to Jesus in this place.  I find the fountains that He provides along the way.

It's lonely in the desert. There is no one else around. All other voices have been removed. His is the only voice that needs to be heard. If He doesn't speak, I hear nothing.  The glory from man is removed. It's so dry here that man's words do not bring refreshment. Man's words become like desert sand. He provides an oasis in the midde of the barrenness and dryness.

If I were to become comfortable here, I would settle.  And if I settle, I've missed the point of this place altogether.

My feelings are meaningless here. If I listen to my feelings I become decieved. My feelings may tell me that He has left me. My feelings tell me it's no use.  If I listen I settle for the dryness.  That's not what He desires.

In this desert land, I tell myself keep marching on....

I have to do things to nourish my weary soul. I must stay in His Word, even if there are no feelings to go with it.

He wants to give us life sustaining water in these places. He longs to give us water that takes away our thirst for the natural completely. What He longs to give us becomes like a spring within us.

So I ask these questions....does the desert become a place where, if we allow Him by taking the Water of Life through His Word, it will take away our thirst for anything else? Is the desert the place where He can rid our hearts of clutter, where He shows us HE is the life sustaining water? Is this the place where He removes the thirst within me for man's approval?  I think YES.

Hosea 2:14-16 says...
"I will lead her into the desert and speak tenderly to her there. I will transform the valley of trouble into a gateway of hope. When that day comes, you will call Me "My husband" instead of my Master."

He led me into the desert to develop a new intimacy between He and I. He led me into the desert to speak tenderly to my heart. He led me into the desert to draw me away from the world for just a bit.

I obey a master, but I deeply love and have great affection for my husband.  He has led me to the desert to transform my heart to know Him on that kind of intimacy. To move from being just a rule follower, to having deep intimacy with Him alone.

The desert may not be the "hip" place to be.  It may not be comfortable. But when He leads us here and His Presence is with us, it's the ONLY place to be.

So the cry of my heart has become like that of Moses when he was in the desert.
"If You don't personally go with me, don't make me leave this place."  Exodus 33:15

I've determined I'd rather stay with His Presence in the desert than to be without Him in the world.

My Publishing Journey :)

A little over ten years ago I started a journal.  My husband and I had been walking through an extremely difficult time with infertility and it was my way of putting my thoughts down. I wrote down all the things I was learning along the way, all the truths that God was showing me, all the moments of freedom I discovered through Him, just a little bit of everything, actually.  My intent was to one day write a book about all that we were learning through the journey we were on.  Deep inside though, I just figured it was a dream and probably would in no way ever actually come about. So I never saw it becoming a reality, but just a journal of reflections I guess.

Fast forward ten years back to last summer.  I'd never forgotten about that journal, but never really thought about it either. I love to write in general. It's why I started a blog! I just seem to be able to communicate better through written word at times. So last summer I felt a little nudge starting to seep into my spirit about writing that book. I kinda kept putting it off, figuring it was just me dreaming again.  However, I really felt God was sending me constant little reminders and nudges to go forward with it. 

As we entered into October, I was feeling a really strong nudging to pursue writing the book. I finally figured I'd think about it, but was wishing so badly I had that journal from  years ago.  We had started packing up the house to move when we sold our house, and guess what I found in the bottom of a box packed away in my closet?  Yep, it was that journal.  THAT was it for me. I finally submitted to what I felt God was leading me to do and went for it.

During all this time I kept thinking back to a conversation I had with my worship pastor.  We were talking about musical things, but the things he said have just resounded in my spirit since that day. In reference to me playing the drums, he made the comment, "I'd rather you go all out and go for it and go big and have an epic fail than to just play in quiet perfection."  I don't even know if he realized just how powerful that was! It encouraged me not just in music, but it has changed my life.  So in regards to this book, I decided to go for it. I decided to step out of my boat of safety and soar on the wings of faith. This was God's story, afterall, and not mine. Stepping out of the boat was scary, but I'm so glad I did.  He has met me and made the whole process beautiful.

I researched several publishing companies and tried to muddle my way through trying to figure out how to even write and publish a book. I ended up talking with someone Westbow Press who answered all of my questions and encouraged me to finish the book and he would follow up with me after the first of the year.  Now I HAD to write! haha  I kept putting it off though.

November came around and all of my crazy sickness hit and took me out of pretty much everything for a while.  Yet while I wasn't actually writing anything, I was still journaling, and even through the sickness I knew God was giving me things then that were to go in the book.

To make a long story short, I ended up finishing the book in about a month.  All twelve chapters of it. I was amazed at how God was just basically writing through me.  I was writing things I didn't even think I knew! But every word was coming out of pouring myself into His word and allowing it to just speak life into me about all that I was writing about.  I had some late, late nights, that's for sure!

After I settled on the publisher it all started becoming a reality.  I was blessed to have a dear friend edit the book for me, and she was a tremendous blessing.  I gave her that manuscript and knew without a doubt that she was going to bathe it in prayer as she read through it.  She will forever be etched into my heart for all she did.

After this long journey, I'm so excited to say that all is complete.  The book actually went live a couple days ago.  It is absolutely surreal.  To be able to see your very heart and soul put into words and published is above my wildest dreams. I"m so grateful that God has brought this all about in His perfect timing.  I'm so grateful for all He does....period.  He's such a wonderful Daddy.

I don't know what God has planned for this book. My prayer is just that it gets into the hands of whomever needs to read it and be encouraged. I really don't want my fingerprints anywhere on this.  Every bit of it is for Him.  I just put into words the story He was playing of my life.  I hope it encourages you and ministers to you in some way as you read it.

The biggest thing I want people to take away from the book is this: while it may detail my particular story, it does go beyond that.  We all go through difficult times of varying degrees, and we are all tempted to withdraw our worship when we do. I hope that my story can be a glimmer of hope that even in hard times, when we choose to continue honoring Him and giving Him our very best worship, He shows up and changes our lives.  We may never get answers to our prayers the way we think we should, but when our eyes are fixated on the only One who is worthy, our perspectives change.  When we can enter His presence and choose to dance with Him when life is going wrong, it will transform us from the inside out.

That's what He did for me, and that's what this book is about.  If you get a chance to read it, I'd love to hear your comments. 

Now, if you want to get the book, you have a few options.  Coldwater Books will be hosting a "Meet the Author" event within the next few weeks and I'll have copies there.  You'll also be able to purchase them from the bookstore after that.  The book is also available online through my publishing company, as well as Amazon and Barnes and Noble.  To purchase the book online, go to the "Books" tab on this blog and use any of the links provided there.  An ebook version will be released in the next week or two as well for all you kindle and nook readers. :)

Thanks for joining me on the journey.  I hope you are blessed along the way, friends!

Much love to you all,
Stacy